For Thy Sweet Love Remembered
by Catheryne
Summary: Veronica needs to uncover clues about her past to figure out her future. Duncan tries to run away from the past and Logan chases after it. LoganVeronica, DuncanVeronica LoVe FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

For Thy Sweet Love Remembered

by Catheryne

PAIRING: Veronica/Logan, Veronica/Duncan, LoVe

RATING: PG13-R

WORD COUNT: 2,000

SUMMARY: Veronica needs to uncover clues about her past to figure out her future. Duncan tries to run away from the past and Logan chases after it.

SPOILERS: S1

Part 1

Hong Kong was a world away and so much more of a creative hideaway than Cuba. It was a planet in an island, where people spoke English either too little or too well, and there is no middle ground for anything. It was just the place for Veronica—a refuge so inspired the Duncan Kanes of the world marveled at the ingenuity, a destination so unexpected that the Logan Echolls chuckled self-deprecatingly for not thinking of it first.

Duncan Kane had given up a kingdom to live in Hong Kong, and not once did he regret it. The cold afternoons and even colder nights blocked out memories of Southern California. When he missed home most, all he needed to do was leave the office and enter the elevator. Then he could pick the topmost floor and step into paradise.

"Veronica, I'm home!"

"Duncan, is that you?"

He smiled at the sound of her voice, and called out immediately, "Were you expecting another man?"

The door to the bedroom flew open and she quickly ran to him, throwing her arms around him and kissing him. Duncan's hands caught her around the waist and lifted her up off the floor.

"I missed you!"

Duncan released her and held her at arm's length. "What have you been doing today?"

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Absolutely nothing. Well that's a lie," she admitted to Duncan. He pushed her hair back away from her face. "I watched tv. It's CSI marathon today," she pointed out.

"Did you guess the answer to all of them again?"

Veronica grinned. "Only to six out of the seven episodes I watched," she told him. "The one from Miami was crazy hard. I think they deliberately left out a lot of clues so I'd think they're so smart."

"Wait til I tell the guys at the office that my wife guessed six out of seven CSI cases."

She pulled him into the living room and pushed him gently into the chair. Then, Veronica straddled his lap. "So you tell them about your intelligent wife?" she prodded. "What did they say?"

"They don't believe me," Duncan answered easily.

"You know why, don't you?" she asked, playfully tapping his nose with her finger. Duncan arched his eyebrows, because he did not need to answer. She always answered it for him. "Because you still haven't introduced me to them. I'm beginning to think they don't exist," she decided.

Duncan chuckled. "What?"

"Well you always tell me stories about everyone in your office but there are no office parties, no people calling us at home, no deadlines."

"You think this is a case you can solve like in CSI?" Duncan asked lightly.

She shook her head. "I think you should introduce me to them though. I'm going out of my mind with boredom."

Duncan cupped her face in his hands. "You know I don't bring work home. Some wives will be thankful for that."

"I'm stuck here all day," Veronica pointed out. "Some wives do have lives beyond waiting for their husband to come home."

Duncan wet his lips. He had seen a sign about four blocks down the street advertising all sorts of time-killers—ballroom dancing, painting, sculpting, arts and crafts. "I was going to save it as a surprise," he started, mentally noting to reserve a slot tomorrow, "but I'm going to say it now. I signed us up for ballroom dancing classes."

The smile that broke across her face made the prospect of missing some meetings worth it. "Oh Duncan! You're so thoughtful."

"Anything for you, baby," he told her. Duncan sighed in relief.

"Really?" He nodded. "Okay. Don't get mad. I want to start looking for a job."

"Veronica, did you want to buy anything?" Duncan reached for his phone. "What happened to your platinum cards?"

"They're in the bedroom," she answered. "What's the point, Duncan, if I can't go out shopping by myself? Oh and the Ladies' Market doesn't take cards. It's cash only."

"You only had to ask. I'll go on leave tomorrow. I'll take you." Duncan frowned at her expression. "You don't want me to go with you? I'll ask someone else."

Veronica shook her head. "I want to be able to go places by myself. A lot of other people do, but I wouldn't know for myself, right?"

Duncan closed his eyes. "Veronica, I thought we're over this."

"I know," she said softly. "Only to protect me, right? Duncan, it's stifling me." Veronica clearly remembered waking up one day to find herself sitting in the corner of the room that was now Duncan's home office. Later on he would tell her that she had been awake longer, and that she had spent seven arduous months in a catatonic state. She then met the nurse who took care of her, and from then he was the only person she knew. "This is the only place I remember. You're the only man I know. I need more."

He seemed helpless, and Veronica finally decided it would be unfair to punish him for reasons only he understood were meant for her own good.

"Okay, I understand. Just think about it, Duncan," she said firmly. "I do need you to fix another problem."

"What is it?"

"My favorite cable channel is going exclusive on broadband tv," she said. "I want to switch providers."

That made Duncan smile, and squeeze her hand gratefully because he was aware she made the conscious decision to take the pressure off him. "I'll take care of it," he promised.

Veronica thanked him and kissed his forehead, then stood up and entered the bedroom. She locked the door behind her and sighed in relief at the privacy he would allow her. Veronica threw herself on the bed, then crawled to the edge and peeked underneath. Her days were filled with cases, but CSI spoilers could be downloaded from the internet. Veronica had started dreaming up a life that she had not been aware of.

She pulled out a large sketchpad that she had forbidden Duncan to touch. Veronica loved him for his integrity, because knowing that he had not yet blown up meant that he respected her wish and never touched the sketchpad. She opened the compilation and looked through the clues she had gathered.

It started with an introduction which read, "My name is Veronica, and I will put my story together piece by piece because I've lost a lifetime."

On the following pages were glued bits of trash and litter, were drawn sketches that were captures of her dreams, were rationalizations that she could browse through at any time of the day.

Veronica flipped through receipts, candy wrappers, drawings until she arrived at a blank page. Carefully, she placed the date December 2, 2012. Then Veronica guiltily glanced up at the locked door.

"Duncan will take me to ballroom dancing classes. Knowing the prices in this country even through tv, I know in the salary he receives as a junior programmer, that will be too much of a luxury. The fee for that class is equivalent to two months' worth of food."

Veronica read through some of the entries about money that she had already written. Platinum cards with no limit. No bills coming in the mail. A penthouse oddly enough provided by the company to a junior programmer.

She had seen Duncan work on programs, and he would put a computer lab freshman to shame. He was not that brilliant an employee to deserve this much from a software company.

Veronica frowned at the stark clues in front of her. She was going to have the courage to follow through. She was certain whatever it was that Duncan was hiding, she would easily crack it.

_i"It broke my heart so much to see you every day staring into nothing," he said, blinking away his tears. "I was losing you, and I knew it. I swear, Veronica, that you're not going to get hurt like that again. He has to walk over my dead body before he gets that chance again!"/i_

Never once did Duncan mention that mysterious "he" again. After that initial burst of emotion when she blinked for the first time in so many months, Duncan had been nothing but staid, devoted and loyal—the most dependable husband a woman could have.

Veronica closed her eyes and prayed that it would all be so easy, and with a miracle, she would remember exactly what Duncan was so afraid of. Whatever the truth was, Veronica knew it would either make her love him so much more or despise him until she could imagine his head burning in hell for an eternity. Nothing came.

She opened her eyes and closed the book. She slid it under the bed once more and looked over at the door again. Veronica turned the knob and looked at Duncan, who stood outside patiently waiting.

Maybe she wasn't ready to hate him, if that was going to be the end of this search.

Veronica extended a hand and his closed around her fingers. She pulled him inside the room. "Sorry it took so long," she whispered.

Duncan stopped in front of her and laid his lips on top of her head. He nodded and closed his eyes.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Each morning the ride up in the elevator became more difficult for Duncan. He had thought the ache that throbbed in his chest whenever he would leave for work was brought about by his inherent need to protect Veronica when she was still incapacitated and helpless. It would disappear when she was well and able to take care of herself. The opposite happened. As she struggled her way out of her stupor and slowly grew more vibrant and alive, Duncan found it even harder to be apart from her.

To keep up pretenses however, he had to leave. Duncan had to put on a shirt, a tie and a coat daily and leave her in their home, go down the elevator to Kane Pacific, and check reports, read email, then pretend to run a company that ran itself.

That day was no different. Duncan returned to the same old floor, passed by the same hallway, greeted the same security guard and received the same brown envelope from his secretary—just the way he did every day.

Duncan entered his office with the brown envelope in his hands. He proceeded to the glass windows and looked down at the buzzing Causeway Bay below. Morning, noon and night, the streets never stopped moving. Hong Kong crawled with people who lived in buildings and fleetingly passed by outside. Of the hundreds of people populating the street below, Duncan wondered if there was that one feared man who would destroy everything he held dear.

Duncan tore the top of the envelope and shook the contents out. He found himself staring down photographic evidence that the threat remained. Pictures of Logan Echolls in the island of Tsim Sha Tsui scattered on his desk. There he was, taking pictures of the horizon in the pursuit of that futile productivity portraits of the sky provided. Logan was everywhere on that island, and the photographs told their own story as Duncan followed Logan's journey from the ferry to the park, and Logan's small moment of nothingness as Logan sat on the wet floor of the port, tinkering with an unimpressive camera.

He drew a deep breath and picked up one photograph of his former best friend caught wearing a longing look towards the city.

"Go back to America, Logan. There's nothing for you here."

Then just like every day, Duncan's speakerphone buzzed with his secretary's voice, "Mr. Chien in line one, sir."

"Put him through," was Duncan's response. When a male voice came on with a greeting, Duncan immediately said, "I want to know if he'll be in Tsim Sha Tsui for the entire day and not back in the city."

"Already checked, Mr Kane. Mr Echolls has booked himself into the lodge for three days."

"You'd better countercheck your information. I don't want another Ocean Park debacle."

i_"Duncan, I can't believe we're actually here!" Veronica exclaimed._

_He watched closely as a bundled up Veronica, whose scarf twisted twice around her neck and whose gloves were rolled up to her elbows, ran up the inclined entrance to the amusement park. "I promised you an outing right?" Duncan prompted. "I keep my promises."_

_She grinned and jogged over to the Fortune Wheels. Veronica watched the children spin the fortune wheel. She then read the marker and informed Duncan, "Spin the wheel for good luck. The longer the wheel will stay spinning, the more luck you will have in your future." She placed her hand on one end of the wheel and drew it back for more force. Duncan prepared his mini digital camera, which he had gotten in the souvenir shop because it was not an equipment he often thought about, and focused on her. "Give me all of it," she wished on the Chinese gods guarding the wheel, "health, happiness and love!"_

_When she spun the wheel, Duncan clicked. He froze when the flash faded. He was certain it was captured in the picture. Duncan displayed the last picture and saw the image of Veronica waiting beside the spinning wheel. What stunned Duncan was the small face behind Veronica. He zoomed the picture and saw distinctly the face of Logan Echolls photographing the rides._

"_Veronica, come on, let's go! I forgot about my meeting with our CEO."_/i

"Never mind," Duncan muttered. "I'll make sure myself." He released the call and dialed the number he simply had to keep. When it was picked up on the other line, Duncan said, "Logan, you've become a stranger, man."

On the other line, Duncan heard the soft chuckle. Logan protested, "I'm ready and raring to go. Unfortunately, I'm here in Tsim Sha Tsui. I can't catch a ferry back and I've already paid for my room over here. You know the Chinese don't do refunds. I'm not exactly a dependent son of a moviestar anymore."

Satisfied with the answer, Duncan continued, "You'd tell me if you needed me to spot you some money, right?"

"I've got some money," Logan assured him. "I've been working for the past few months, you know. I'm not the same penniless guy from when I got here first."

"Then why are you staying at the lodge?"

"I've fallen in love with this life," was the answer. "Beauty in the simplest things is equivalent to polishing a diamond from the rough. Speaking of beauties," Logan continued, "have you fallen in love with someone yet—someone beautiful?"

"Gorgeous," Duncan replied. "Move on, Logan."

One name hung in the air between them. That name was never mentioned in the context of their conversation.

"In time," Logan promised. "But I'm glad you have. A few months ago I doubted that we would ever speak again."

"And now I wouldn't trust anyone else but you," Duncan concluded for him. "Just know, Logan, that whatever happened it did because of how much you loved her."

After their conversation, Duncan hung up the phone and dialed his home phone number. Veronica picked up at once, telling him so much about what was happening in the room.

"Baby," Duncan says into the phone, "I'm going back. It looks like I have a fever."

Veronica promised to wait for him with some asparagus soup. He pushed the button on his intercom and said, "Li Shia, I will have no appointments today. Cancel it all. I will not be working today."

"Yes sir, Mr Kane."

Duncan was opening the door to the apartment a mere five minutes later. At once, Veronica was in front of him. She laid her hand on his forehead and pronounced, "You don't feel sick to me."

He gave her a grin, then informed her, "I'm playing hooky because you are going to get the chance to go to Ladies' Market."

Veronica squealed and clapped. "I'm changing my clothes!" She kissed him on the cheek and ran to the bedroom.

"Bundle up!" he reminded her.

In Tsim Sha Tsui, on the other hand, Logan Echolls strode around the park where he had before as a visitor. As a photographer, the island had a whole different meaning, and he saw many things he had never seen before. Logan turned around and saw a simple brown bird perched on the rope of a ferry. He walked closer so that he would not disturb the bird. Logan focused on the bird, capturing the shadow of its wing feathers as it splayed on the dock tiles, then gently pushed the button. He viewed the picture on the camera screen. She would have been so proud. It was so professionally done that she would not have believed that Logan was the same photography novice that she had encountered again on March 2011.

i_Logan Echolls had spent most of the time since Aaron's arrest traveling the world. Trina did the same. The similarity stopped there. Where Trina had spent hordes of her money as she skipped from one city to another living high in hotels and attending jetsetter parties, Logan decided to backpack across Europe and Asia. There was no money to spend. Logan touched nothing that was already tainted by his father. He had left his old life behind. There was nothing he wished to carry with him. _

_During his journey, Logan relished the adventure of meeting new people. Often an old friend would catch him on a walking tour as they 'slummed it out.' Logan had no patience for rich children pissing on his playground. The world was his private space and Logan vanished into it.  
_

_Because he needed to survive, Logan started to write. He invested on an old notebook with only a word processor and email capability. He sent his articles to Trina's friend and received his paycheck wired to whatever country he traveled to. In their correspondence he had been asked to travel to different destinations that the magazine needed to feature. Logan usually refused to big city assignments. Hong Kong was the last place he wanted to go after visiting Cambodia. There were too many rich Westerners walking around. Money became tight when his old laptop started failing him, and he decided to take the Hong Kong assignment that went together with a per diem that he blew on a new notebook computer. If he was going to write about Hong Kong though, he was not going to stay in the city proper. That was when he discovered that a subway ride, a twenty minute walk, then a ferry ride away from the city proper was a beautiful tile dock that led to the simple island of Tsim Sha Tsui—a place of characters, sceneries and a melting pot of people.  
_

_He sat on the cement bench that overlooked the river and allowed the place to sink in to his brain. Logan twisted his pen and took out his binder, then started jotting down concepts for his article. He looked towards the pier and narrowed his eyes as he spotted a blonde woman wearing a denim jacket, kneeling on the wet ground as she shot a photograph of the skyline. He supposed he could write an article about Westerners littering the Pacific. Logan grinned as he watched the woman turn her back on him. She let her camera hang around her neck as she grabbed the railing and looked down at the river. He would if she fascinated him enough. His eyes widened when she placed her foot on the lowest railing and climbed up. "Crazy," he muttered. He watched her hold on and titter on the railing. She settled her ass on the top rail and held the camera up to her face again. She now had elevation and she focused the camera on the people at the back, where Logan was sitting shaking his head as he thought about many synonyms of insane that he could use to brand her on his article. Suddenly he wished he had a camera to take a photograph of her position. Since he had none, he had to come up with the best description of the woman's actions._

_He was still staring at the blonde whose face was a camera when he saw her slowly lower the equipment to her chest, where he focused on for about five heartbeats. Then he looked up at her face. She was openmouthed in surprise, and he could not blame her. Logan stood up abruptly. His pen and pad fell on the rain puddle, but he did not notice it. All of a sudden, the insane way she climbed the dock railing made sense. Veronica Mars never did think first if she had an agenda._

_Logan started running towards her. His heart stuck in his throat when she started climbing down, then caught his foot on the rail. She stumbled, and Logan froze. Then she jumped down easily. Veronica Mars jogged towards him as he continued sprinting in her direction. They met halfway across the tile dock. Three feet away from each other, they stopped._

"_Veronica Mars," he drawled. "Long time no see." He did not mention the fact that the last time he saw her, she was up on the witness stand crucifying his father._

"_Duncan said you were in Europe," she said tentatively. "Obviously he was wrong."_

_Logan forced his smile to remain. That she hooked up with Duncan after their explosive breakup in Dog Beach had reached him. "Still together with DK, huh?"_

"_No," she said. "But that doesn't mean we don't talk."_

"_Meaning he calls," Logan clarified. She nodded with a grin. "And I've not been in Europe for two years. Asia's my playground now." He spread his arms wide. "Lots of things to see. Look at this beauty."_

_Veronica chuckled. "You mean lots of almond eyes and slender figures," she told him. "Nice long black hair."_

"_I don't know." Logan grinned. "I've always been partial to blonde all-American girls."_

_She waved away the flirtation. "Oh stop!"_

"_Well, seeing you halfway around the world means only one thing," Logan said. "The universe wants us to have dinner together." He extended a hand and waited for her to take it. "Well?"_

_Veronica hesitated as she looked at the proffered hand and then back at his face. "That's it?" she asked in disbelief. "You're okay with all our issues?"_

_Logan sighed. "Did we really travel half the globe to talk about our issues?"_

_Veronica smiled and took his hand. "I'm paying," she said._

_He shrugged. "No arguments here. I'm paying my own way here."_

"_Good," Veronica pronounced. "Because I have a business proposition." They walked towards the road to grab a cab. He was about to protest. She held up her hand. "I better get this out of the way so dinner is more about friends catching up."_

"_Spill."_

"_I want you to caption my pictures for my new book. I've taken tons of great pictures of this country, and I need your writing talent."_

_Logan felt his chest puff out on its own, as the compliment washed through him. "You want me to collaborate with you on a project," he repeated. _

"_I can't think of someone who'd do a better job."_

"_Have you even seen my style?" Logan asked as he flagged down a cab. He opened the door and ushered her in then climbed in beside her. He wrote with wit and sarcasm, and he wondered whether Veronica would pitch a fit when he ruined her dramatic sepia with his humor. "It's not exactly art collection material."_

"_Oh please," Veronica responded. "I own a file on all your published works. Dad makes it a point to send them to me."/_i

On that one unexpected day in the very same spot where he now took pictures of a busy dock, Logan met his past and locked his future on her image. The book was never published because life took all their time.

i_"Thanks for dinner," Logan murmured as the cab stopped in front of his hotel, accommodation paid for strictly by the magazine._

_She nodded, her eyes beaming with mirth at the memory of the last story he told her about a used clothes shop he visited in Singapore. "It was good to see you again, Logan."_

"_It's gonna be better if you see me again after this."_

_She laughed and agreed with him. "I missed this. We've always been so lighthearted about so many things."_

_Logan leaned close and placed a tentative kiss on the corner of her lips. She grabbed his face with both hands and deepened the kiss. "And so passionate on other things," he said. "I missed you, Veronica." He smiled and laid his forehead against hers. "Come up to my room."_

"_No," she said as if it was the most difficult word she ever had to say. Gently she pushed him back. "If we're going to start anything, we're going to have all our faculties making the decision, not just our lower bodies. I'll see you tomorrow. We're going to start working on some pictures. I'll bring them over."/_i

It was ridiculous how proud Logan was when he became a full fledged photographer. He used to believe that his gift was words. Photography had almost been an accident to him.

i_"Oh my God!" Veronica exclaimed, giggling when he caught her by her waist. "Logan, get off me." She swatted at his shoulders with her hands. "I can't believe you spilled wine all over my pictures."_

"_Well who in their right mind would bring wine on a working night?"_

_She smiled and kissed his eyebrow. "I can't help it. You've turned working night into a whole erotic fantasy." They had been working on captioning the pictures for a month and a half and somehow, they never captioned more than four pictures each night. "I give up on this partnership. You really can't mix business with pleasure."_

"_So you prefer the pleasure?" he prodded._

"_Oh do I!" Veronica started packing up the pictures when her eyes fell on the series of photographs she had taken of Logan in Victoria's Peak. There he stood by the rail at the edge of the highest point in all of Hong Kong. Behind him, the city was lit up with its night light. "As close to heaven as earth allows," she had read. Logan had egoistically captioned it with what he said Veronica probably felt when she took that picture. "I'm entering this in the photo contest in Causeway Bay. At least we got something out of this collaboration."_

"_I'm touched," Logan told her. He then pulled her onto his lap. "Since you've just prettily fired me from your project, you'd better come here to soothe the hurt away."/_i

Logan sighed deeply and sat down on the bench again, fixing the camera in his hands. The lens was stuck again, and he worked on fixing the problem. A few minutes later, his sun was blocked. He looked up and saw a strange woman grinning down at him.

"Logan Echolls?"

Logan frowned. "Depends on who's asking."

"I'm a fan. I was so excited to see you here working. I saw your exhibit in the mall Pearl Gallery."

Logan nodded. "Thanks for coming by."

The woman saw him fixing the camera. "Your unit is kind of outdated," she pointed out, surprised. "Why haven't you upgraded to some higher model? I would've expected you to look for something better by now."

Logan shrugged. "It's not dead, is it?"

When the fan had left, Logan looked down at the camera and smoothed his hands over it protectively.

iVeronica rose from the bed with a naughty smile towards Logan. He reached out to grab her by the waist, and she fell in a tangle of sheets on his chest. "Logan, let go! I have to get something from the closet."

"Clothes?" he inquired. "I'm never letting you go if you're threatening to put on clothes."

She laughed. "No. A gift." She stumbled over and grabbed the bag from her shoe rack. She handed it to Logan and then climbed into bed beside him.

He sat up and took out the gift wrapped box. He looked at her in confusion. When he tore the wrapper, he saw the new camera. "Where did you get this?"

"It's the money from the photo contest."

"You're giving it to me?" She nodded happily. Veronica leaned her head on his bare shoulder as he tinkered with the equipment in his hands. She pointed out the features of the camera, and gave him tips on taking pictures with it. Logan turned and kissed the top of her head. "Thanks, sugarpuss."

"It's not much. You could have bought several with a week's allowance from your Neptune days."

Logan inspected the camera, then jarred her head off his shoulder. He turned the camera to her and looked at her through zoomed lenses. "Do you regret being with a piss poor me when you were last with Duncan Kane, the prince of Neptune?"

She took the camera out of his hands and placed it inside the box again. Veronica straddled his thighs and asked, "Do I look like I regret it?"

"I don't know," Logan answered. "It's so dark."

She slapped him on the chest lightly. Veronica bent to capture his lips with his and moved up. Logan's hands settled on her waist. Then Veronica positioned herself above him and slowly sank her body onto his. Logan inhaled sharply as he thrust inside her. He lifted her easily and drew her back down firmly, eliciting a gasp from her. "Logan," she whispered as she moved easily up and down, biting her lip at the sensations aroused inside her.

Logan buried his fingers in her hair and turned her face to his so that they mouths latched together as he pushed inside her even deeper.

"Logan, I need—"

"What do you need?"

Veronica tightly closed her eyes, tears seeped out from the corners. "I need to—"

Swiftly, knocking the breath out of her, Logan maneuvered them so that she would be lying beneath him. He hiked her legs up and helped her wrap them around his waist. The position helped him do deeper, and he surged forward.

"I need you," she moaned.

Logan buried his face in the crook of her neck. "You have me," he breathed into her ear./i

Across the river, Duncan Kane jogged across the market with two cones of three scoops of ice cream each. "Cappuccino, vanilla and cheese," he announced as he presented the ice cream to Veronica. "Your wish, my command."

Veronica beamed and took the ice cream from her husband. "You're a doll!" She looked at a souvenir shop and pointed to it. "Duncan, can you get that cheongsam for me?"

"I'll get anything," he said quickly. "But what's a cheongsam?"

"That Chinese-style blouse. I want the red and gold one. Get a medium."

"You're not coming with me?"

Veronica shook her head. "My feet ache."

"Alright." Duncan turned to the shop she pointed to. Veronica stood up gingerly and started walking over to the artist shop. "You're small."

She shook her head. "Not out here I'm not," she pointed out. "I'll just sit there to look."

When Duncan vanished into the shop, Veronica jogged over to the artist shop. Duncan would take time, because Veronica knew first hand from the conversation of the tourists that the proprietress had a hard time understanding English and that Duncan would be asked to sit down and draw a design he would want. He would be asked about Veronica's birthdate, hobbies, likes. It was a personalized cheongsam shop. Veronica would have enough time to accomplish what she wanted.

"Can we help you?"

"I want to know if you can draw me a picture." The artist nodded and gave her a chair to sit on. "Not me. I want you to draw me a picture of someone I saw in my dream." Veronica smiled. "Please."

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

The small paper portrait had a lifetime of merely two hours but Veronica had worn and creased it because of how many times she would draw it out and inspect it. The face that stared back at her was the man she had seen in her dream. It warmed her heart to see the features of an older man whose smile crinkled the edges of his eyes. No matter the talent of the artist in the Ladies' Market, he had failed to capture the impossibly lively sparkle in that gaze. When the balding man looked at her in her dreams, Veronica wanted to cry. It was amazing to feel so much she choked on the emotions. After all, she had no name to tag to the stranger.

Duncan had made her understand very early on that it was for her own safety that she not leave their place without him. Looking down at the picture without knowing who it was that was portrayed there gnawed at her insides. It was a wealth of information regarding herself that she could not tap into. If there was nothing else she could figure out about her past, Veronica knew that the one thing she would be certain of was that she had a surplus of curiosity that might likely have put her in danger many times.

Veronica's eyebrows arched at a vivid feeling of standing on a rail, balancing against the wind high above a body of water. The fact that she had no idea where a sensation such as that had come from decided her next move. She leaned over Duncan's sleeping form and blew in his ear. When he smiled, murmured then turned to his side, Veronica grinned. He was dead asleep. When he slept like that, he was a log. Even if she rolled him out of bed, he would not wake up, only burrow deeper against the leg of the nightstand.

Veronica slipped out of the bed and placed her feet into her slippers. She silently made her way out of the room and picked up the large flat box she had had Duncan haul from the Ladies' Market to Causeway Bay.

i"I didn't know that silk would be this heavy," Duncan muttered when they got off in front of their building. Veronica gaze him a sideways glance and grinned. "You seriously think that this much silk will do the apartment good?"

Veronica shook her head. "Are you questioning my interior design capabilities?"

"Far be it for me to question anything about you!" he replied to her satisfaction.

"Good," she said. Veronica grabbed Duncan's arm as he was about to cross to their building. She pointed to the small stall of mobile phones and portable computers. "Is that the new LG camera phone—the MM 7810?" she gasped.

"Where did you learn about the MM 7810?"

"I watch tv," she reasoned. "In fact, that's all I do. Come on," she urged, pulling on his arm. "Put that down on the counter and look at the cool stuff. I'm going to ask about the phone."

Duncan saw the excitement in her eyes, and grinned. "All right. If you want it, you have your credit card, right?"

She nodded eagerly. "Now put that down there and you can check out the cameras."

He looked around, then agreed. Grateful for the chance to put down the box on the counter, Duncan wandered off to the different computers while Veronica talked to the shopkeeper. She glanced towards Duncan who had started looking through some CDs. She turned to the shopkeeper and flourished her platinum card for the very first time. "I need you to pack the Inspiron 6000 into this box." She pushed the silk carrier towards the shopkeeper. "Please just pack it inside the silk."

The shopkeeper glanced at Duncan, who waved at Veronica. Veronica nodded towards Duncan. "I saw a nice button down shirt two doors down that's going to look good on you! Check it out. I'll follow you in a bit."

Duncan stepped out of the store. Veronica signed the receipt. "So sweet," the shopkeeper commented. "You surprise for him? He will like. Very good computer."

Veronica agreed. Dell directly sold its laptops and desktops, and she was shocked to find a unit available in an electronics shop in Causeway Bay. They had ways she supposed. She waited for the shopkeeper to pack up the small computer and cover it with the silk. She tried to heft it, and was surprised that the weight difference was not that much. She slipped her platinum card back in her pocket.

Behind her, Duncan rushed up. "I forgot your silk." He took it from her and grunted. "Am I that tired, coz this got heavier."

"Wimp," she teased.

Duncan shook his head and lifted the box under one arm, then led her away with the other./i

Veronica opened the box and unwrapped the silk from around the notebook computer. She happily carried it to Duncan's home office, then charged the laptop. She glanced at the clock, then walked over to the door to lock it. Fully installed and ready to go, just the way she wanted it. Veronica went over to Duncan's own computer and scanned the portrait. Then she took the file to her new Inspiron and went to work.

When Duncan woke up in the morning, Veronica had fresh waffles and sunny side ups on a plate. She saw the surprise in his face when he sat down for breakfast. Veronica almost felt guilty about hiding things from him. Duncan simply looked too happy with their life. Sometimes she felt bad about not being content as well. To herself, she reasoned that Duncan had full recollection of his past. She did not even know about her life. He seemed unwilling to help her remember.

In the morning, across the water, Logan Echolls walked perilously close to the water. Morning had broken like a burst of light across the Pacific. The soft rays were warm on his skin, and he loved taking photographs of people walking their dogs by the dock. There was such beautiful simplicity in the bond between humans and their pets. Veronica used to walk Backup in Dog Beach each morning, and watching her from afar comforted him in his youth. This soothed him a little, especially when he saw toddlers running after dogs that were so much larger than they were. Beasts that the dogs were, they did nothing to hurt the children. The image sent a pang of longing and gut-wrenching hurt in his gut.

i_She waited outside their building, standing under the shed that barely sheltered her from the steady rain. Veronica was huddled under his oversized coat. When Logan's bus stopped in front of her, he jumped down. Logan rushed over to her and stopped a foot away. The rain poured hard, and the wind whipped water towards him. He frowned._

"_Veronica, what's wrong? Why are you waiting out here? You should be inside." He saw her eyes that were moist. "Are you okay?" Logan stepped closer._

_Veronica's tears fell from her eyes and she smiled through them. She nodded her head. "I'm fine. Happy anniversary!" She handed him an envelope. Small circular droplets darkened on the envelope._

"_Happy anniversary!" He leaned to kiss her lips. He then took the envelope from her. "This couldn't wait til I came home?" he asked. Veronica shook her head as her tears slipped from her eyes. Logan opened the envelope and took out the slip of paper. The wet wind whipped through, and he gripped the slip of paper more tightly. Logan held what appeared to be test results. He chuckled, then looked up at Veronica. "This is in Chinese," he mumbled._

_She laughed and nodded. "Yes, it's in Chinese! But something's in English," she pointed out._

_Logan narrowed his eyes as he read through the characters until he found that one word that was comprehensible. "Positive," he said. He frowned and stared at it. Realization sank in. His gaze slammed back to Veronica's teary face. "Is this--?"_

"_Yes," she said hoarsely. _

_Logan released a deep guttural breath, then threw his arms around her, embracing her tightly, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "God, I love you, Veronica!" he whispered into her skin that was wet with rain and tears./_i

Logan brought the camera up and looked through the lenses, focusing on a toddler who gripped a pet dog's fur as he tried uneven steps. He zoomed in to take the shot when its father bent and lifted him high up into the air and Logan clicked on the picture of the man and his son.

He closed his eyes and felt the tug around his neck. The camera lace broke off at the end. Logan sucked in his breath and ran after the man sprinting away with his camera. At the end of the dock, the man stood, assessing his position to check which way was best to run to.

"Give it back!" Logan spat.

"Go away, American!" the thief cried out and he teetered over the edge.

"I'll let you go," Logan snarled, "if you hand over the camera now."

At Logan's growl, the thief panicked. He tossed the camera into the water. Logan watched in horror as his precious equipment fell in. He jumped up onto the ledge and looked down at the ripples that ate the camera. Logan glared at the thief, who backed away quickly and then sprinted back to the ferry. Logan took a deep breath and dove.

i_He was wet, and so was she. They ran back to Happy Valley, staying on the sidewalk because the treacherous, twisting and narrow road that curved around and around the island was unpredictable. Despite the state of their wetness, they laughed the entire time._

_The umbrella she had been holding over their heads gave no protection because the rain came from all directions. The wind blasted, and the umbrella twisted._

"_Do you have money for a cab?" she yelled into the wind. Logan gestured that he heard nothing. "Money," she repeated, "for a cab!" _

_Veronica's foot slipped off the sidewalk and she stumbled onto the street. Logan quickly pulled her back up the sidewalk. "No. And be careful," he cried back. "You know Hong Kong drivers are crazy!" Logan saw the umbrella broken by the wind. He took it from her hands and threw it in a bin. "We're wet anyway," he reasoned. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders._

_Together they ran away from the furnished and tall buildings in Happy Valley and arrived at the outskirts of the village. Their bliss, the low cost housing that Logan rented for them, loomed dark against the sky. "Welcome to the castle."_

"_Home sweet home," Veronica murmured._

_They jogged up the stairs until they reached their door. They shivered at the water drying off their skin. Logan inserted the key into the knob and opened the door, ushering Veronica in. "Sugarpuss, can you turn up the heat?" he requested as he bolted the door._

_Veronica proceeded to the heater and twisted, then twisted again. "Logan, the heater's busted."_

"_This is just great!" He shrugged out of his wet clothes and walked over to her to help her take off her dripping coat. He saw goosebumps crawl on her skin as she divested herself of the clothes. He took a deep breath and made the difficult decision. "Everything will be better tomorrow," he promised. "I'll tell Trina to wire us some of Aaron's money. We can live in Eaton House," he said, referring to the high class apartelle in the center of Happy Valley, where executives were housed when they were stationed in Hong Kong._

_She turned around and looked at Logan from beneath straggly wet hair. "No, Logan. You're not comfortable with his money. You've succeeded in making it on your own. We're doing just fine."/_i

Logan did not care how deep it as, or how freezing cold he had become. He dove deeper into the water until his head exploded with oxygen deprivation. The dark murkiness of the underwater gripped him.

The next thing he was aware of was being hauled up by the police. They tossed him on the dock and waited out his coughing up the water.

"No swim in water!" they yelled. "Crazy foreigner!"

Logan lay limply on the dock and gazed longingly at the water, where his camera no rested at the bottom, buried in time by sand and silt—like everything that was precious.

"Phone call," he rasped as the police grabbed him by his upper arms and dragged him towards their car. "My phone call."

Meanwhile, in the penthouse apartment way out in Causeway Bay, Duncan arrived to find Veronica sitting on the dining table. The television was turned off, and she had a folder in front of her. He walked up to her and kissed her on the forehead, putting down his phone in front of her. "You've got a slight fever, baby," he said. "I'll get you some medicine."

"I already took one," she informed him, her voice hoarse.

"Did you take the right one? It looks like you've got a sore throat too."

"I'm not a child, Duncan." At those words, he turned around and looked at her. Every day he recognized more the Veronica that had been lost after she woke up from her trance. "I want you to sit down and answer some questions."

Slowly, he walked over to sit down in front of her. He waited for her to speak.

"I want you to tell me why I've been dreaming of a dead American PI." She pushed the folder towards Duncan. He opened it to the first page and saw information on Keith Mars, who he was, his death. Veronica continued, "You used to live in California, right?"

"Yes," Duncan admitted. "So did you. We were high school sweethearts. You've seen the pictures. I've never denied it." Duncan closed the file and pushed it back towards Veronica. "You didn't need to have this done," he told her. "If you'd asked me, I would've told you."

"All right," Veronica agreed. She swallowed, because her throat was thick and sore, and her voice ended up sounding like it grated. "Tell me who Keith Mars is, Duncan, and why I see him in my dreams."

Duncan looked at Veronica, assessed her condition, and weighed his options. Before he even spoke, his phone rang. Veronica stuck out her chin and answered it herself. "Hello," she said hoarsely. "Please hold." She slid the phone over to Duncan. "I guess that's what they call saved by the bell. It's an emergency. He said his name is Logan Echolls."

Duncan's hand froze over the phone.

tbc

I am amazingly surprised with how warmly this story has been accepted. Thank you very much!


	4. Chapter 4

I would really like to thank you guys for reading and leaving me feedback. You inspire me to continue to update 

Part 4

"I would have loved to chat with your girlfriend," Logan said into the phone. Duncan glanced up at Veronica, who looked at him with challenge in her eyes. "Time doesn't permit niceties unfortunately."

Duncan turned away from Veronica, but remained seated in front of her. "What's up, Logan? How can I help?"

"I need you to spot me some cash."

Without asking for a reason, Duncan responded with, "Where will I meet you?"

"That's the thing. I need you to drop it off at the Tsim Sha Tsui police station."

Duncan sat up, forgetting for the time being the pressing problem he was faced with. "You're in jail."

"Got it the first time," Logan said lightly. "It's a long story, and it revolves around Veronica's camera. I don't want to stay the night here."

"I'll be right there," Duncan promised, then hung up the phone. He looked at Veronica, who had started gathering up her file. He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head.

"You're going to say that you need to go, and you're going to leave this problem right here," she said through her teeth.

"Veronica, I need to help out an old friend."

Her eyes narrowed, and Duncan regretted his words when enlightenment dawned on her. "Your old friend. He said his name is Logan Echolls." Veronica stood and strode to the bedroom. When she came back, Duncan saw the photo album that he had shown her – the extent of his help to make her remember the past. She showed him the photograph that he had pointed to before, where Veronica was in Duncan's embrace and Lilly and Logan held onto each other in the middle of a laugh. "This Logan Echolls?" she asked.

Reluctantly, Duncan admitted, "Yes."

Veronica nodded her head. "I'm going with you."

He needed to exercise his will now. "It's dark out. I'm catching the night ferry to Tsim Sha Tsui in December. I'm not taking you on that trip in the middle of the night, Veronica. That's crazy."

"So is your keeping me in this apartment!" she burst out. "You're doing it. Why can't I?" she demanded.

"Veronica, he's my oldest friend."

"And according to this," she replied, thrusting the album to his face, "he's mine too!"

"Listen to me, Veronica. You're staying. We'll talk tomorrow." Duncan pushed back from the table and walked over to the door. He picked up his wallet and keys from the bowl in the living room. "I'll tell you everything."

She brushed the tears away from her eyes. "If I don't get the truth soon, you're going to destroy me," she whispered.

Duncan wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He brushed the tears away and kissed her eyelids. "I promise, Veronica. When I get back."

She nodded, half convinced to wait. "If I don't get answers within twelve hours, Duncan, I'm going to leave. That's not a threat."

He took a deep breath and cupped her face in his hands, then drew her up for a long kiss. Silently, he told himself that by the time he got back to her, he would have thought everything over so that she would have answers and he could keep her.

Duncan walked out of the building and hailed a cab to take him to the dock. As he sat back in his seat, he thought of the best way to approach Veronica in her quest. She had always been difficult to handle when she had her mind set on another thing.

i_Duncan would never have believed that he would find Logan Echolls' home as a bliss type of apartment complex in the poorer side of the neighborhood. Seeing Veronica standing outside was more of a crime than anything she had investigated. Only a few months ago she had been his and she had been looking forward to a future in which she would be one of the richest women in California. Now she waved away the son who shunned his wealth to travel the world._

_He stepped away from the column and said, "You left me without telling me why. Then I find out that my mother's been paying you," he continued, accusation in his voice. "What the hell, Veronica?" he spat out. "Where are you putting the money if you've been living in this hovel? You can feed and clothe and shelter Logan for years with that kind of money."_

_She whirled around to face Duncan, then looked back at the direction where Logan had gone. Presumably it was to check if Logan had already boarded the bus. He had, and the vehicle had been about to pass by the building. Veronica pushed Duncan behind the column again. She waved at Logan, who stuck out his head and yelled, "I'll see you for dinner!"_

_When Logan's bus had vanished into the curve of the road, she pulled Duncan up the bliss complex and into the room she and Logan rented. Duncan looked around the small space and grimaced. _

"_We don't have any heat so live with it," she muttered. Veronica switched on the stove to boil some water, then settled into the chair wearily._

_Duncan deflated in his anger upon really looking her over. He knelt down in front of her and gripped her chin, turning her face from side to side. "You don't look well."_

"_I'm happy," she answered._

"_I could have given you everything he's not willing to give you," he told her. "Logan has got money stuck in his bank accounts, Veronica, but he's not willing to spend anything to keep you healthy and warm?"_

"_Duncan, you don't understand what Logan and I have. It's safer for you if you don't talk about it."_

_Duncan nodded. "Then tell me where you've been carting the money that my mother paid you to leave me."_

_Veronica stood up and took a cup from the cupboard. She then ripped open a sachet of tea. Beside the stove, she waited for the water to boil. "It's a long story."_

"_I know about your dad. Is it for that?"_

_Veronica winced at the sad memory of Keith's long illness. He had been confined for so long, and it took a large amount of money to keep the life support needed for Keith. It was more than what Veronica could afford. Celeste Kane had offered to help at the right moment, in exchange for abandoning her son._

"_Don't even think of going to my son because the moment he takes your side, he's cut off. He's not going to be of any help to you," she had told her._

_Veronica closed her eyes and then met Duncan's gaze, full of betrayed trust. "It's not an excuse," she whispered._

"_I just need your help understanding what happened." He took her hand and squeezed it. "And I want you back."_

_She shook her head, extricating her hand from his grip. "Duncan, I'm sorry about what I did, but I can't go back to you. I love Logan."_

"_You owe me this, Veronica."_

"_No," she repeated._

_Duncan handed her a card. When she did not take it, he slipped it into her pocket. He leaned close to her and said, "Call me when you're done playing with Logan Echolls and you're ready to go back to the real world, Veronica. Poverty's only exciting at first."/_i

It had only been fair, Duncan decided. Outside, the storm thundered and Duncan looked out at the raging waters. What he had done was take back what had been his. Logan was aware of what he would lose. He had been explosive, and he would live to regret it. The cab stopped just outside the ferry dock. Duncan stood on the makeshift bridge and paid the fare.

"No trips across!"

Duncan looked up at the dark night sky and saw lightning streak in the horizon. "I need to get to Tsim Sha Tsui!"

The ferry was full, like any other night when commuters ferried back and forth after a day's work. It was something Duncan never needed to do, but these people needed to get back home. He, on the other hand, was not pressed by need as so many of the passengers.

The ferry surged forward, and Duncan let out a sigh of relief.

He owed Logan Echolls nothing.

i_"Logan."_

_Seated in his corner at the coffeeshop at the end of the street, Logan looked up from his computer to see a familiar face. He stood up immediately and gave Duncan a warm embrace, laughing at the coincidence of seeing an old friend. "Duncan Kane!" Logan greeted, grinning. "What are you doing out here?"_

_Duncan returned the embrace and patted Logan on the back. "I'm here to close some things I've left open."_

"_Business?"_

"_Some." Duncan gestured towards the computer on the table. "You've turned into one of the hackneyed writers who write in Starbucks."_

_Logan shrugged and took his seat again. Duncan pulled up the nearest chair and took a seat. "It's my life now." He turned to Duncan, who was still looking at him. "Actually…" Logan shut down the system. "My place is close by. Want to drop by?"_

"_Definitely."_

_Logan closed the notebook and placed it inside his backpack. "I want to tell you something first," he confessed somberly. _

"_I know."_

"_You do?"_

_Duncan nodded. "It was one of the things I wanted to close here in Hong Kong."_

"_Veronica and I are very happy," Logan admitted._

_Duncan sat back, because the words were too simple to summarize everything that he felt when he had finally tracked Veronica Mars down and learned that she was living in a foreign land with his best friend. "I see that."_

_The walk back to the bliss was quiet. Logan looked around at the places they passed by as if it was the first time he had seen the buildings. At one point, Logan had called to Duncan to wait up as he took out his camera and snapped a shot of a stray cat licking its leg. The walk took fourteen minutes. Duncan knew, because discomfort made time crawl._

_So many months it had been since he had seen Veronica outside the same apartment complex. Not once did she call him, and it was time to remind her of what she could have had._

_Logan knocked on the door. He turned to Duncan and said, "She's probably sleeping. She sleeps a lot these days. You'll see why."_

_Duncan closed his eyes. The sound of Logan's jangling keys was merry, but his heartbeat thundered in his ears. _

_The door opened and Logan led him inside, switching on the lights as he walked in. He turned to wave Duncan in. "The bedroom's here." Logan opened the door and peeked inside. "Ronnie!" _

_A tingling sensation in his nape made Duncan turn. It was then that he saw the light in the bathroom. He left Logan and walked over, then knocked on the door. Logan saw where Duncan was standing and asked, "She there?"_

_Duncan placed his ear against the door. He heard the muffled sobs. He hit the door with his fist. "Open the door, Veronica!"_

_Logan frowned, then pushed Duncan back from the door. He twisted the knob, but it wouldn't turn. With trembling fingers Logan picked the key and cursed when he tried and failed to insert it into the doorknob. Duncan snatched the key and with steadier hands opened the door._

_Veronica sat on the edge of the tub, looking up at Logan with her tear-streaked face. "I can't stand up," she whispered, gripping the tub._

_Logan rushed over and knelt in front of her. "Is it the baby?"_

_To Duncan, the sight of Veronica with a five-month belly, looking pale and ill, was shattering. He watched as Logan kissed Veronica's temple, dried her tears, then lifted the flap of her robe. He heard the low calm murmur of Logan's words after he saw the line of blood that ran down her thigh to her leg. Logan lifted her in his arms and passed by Duncan._

_Duncan followed close behind him. He saw Veronica's head rest on Logan's shoulder as she buried her face in his neck._

_Later as she slept in the hospital room, and Logan sat on the chair beside her bed gripping her hand, Duncan handed his best friend a check. Logan fisted his hand as he saw the figure written above Duncan's signature. "You two are lucky now," Duncan reminded Logan. "But you've got to start taking care of them. You need money for that."_

_Then, reluctantly at first, after glancing at Veronica's sunken eyes, he took the check. "I'll owe you," he rasped._

_Duncan closed his hand over Logan shoulder and squeezed._/i

He had only ever meant to help.

Thunder roared, and the ferry pitched forward. Around him, he heard nervous cries and a baby's piercing wail. Duncan stood to stumble to the front of the ferry.

In front of him, waves swallowed waves. Lightning struck the bow. All power died in the ferry. A spark ignited at the rear of the boat.

Then it was chaos.

iDuncan dropped to his knees in the middle of the street. Eaton House loomed behind him, the very building that Logan had dreamed of for his family. There was no fantasy involved now. Veronica was crumpled on the ground, a pool of blood around her body. The cab that slammed into her stopped a few yards away.

He looked up to see Logan panting from a distance.

"What the hell did you do?" Duncan demanded, his cry sharp and painful through the cold, still air. "What the hell did you do!"

Logan blinked at the sight, but did not move.

Beside the unmoving body, Duncan fumbled for his phone. "I have an emergency!"/i

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

This was exhausting to write. Phew. Hope you leave feedback!

On a sidenote, I will start a Casey/Veronica fic soon. Please support my endeavors.

And a lot of people reacted to the LV but no one noticed that at the last part of the last chapter, D's ferry was about to sink… Hehe.

Part 5

When the door closed behind Duncan, Veronica felt her heart crushed. The sound of his footsteps fading in the distance was a betrayal. Sending the scanned picture to an online investigating firm was enough to force her into a guilt trip. Duncan had been the only one she depended on after waking up from long months of nothingness. He had never failed her in any regard, provided everything that she needed. When she had paid to get the name of the man in the picture, she felt that she was going against him. She would have given him the chance to explain.

Now, no more.

Veronica had logged online and searched, with only the city he lived in and his name, Veronica started looking for her own answers. She did not know how, but soon enough, she was deep into intricate sites that told her much more.

The easiest, perhaps, and the hardest to accept, was a news blurb that was more of an obituary. "Keith Mars," she had read, "fifty years old, formerly sheriff of Neptune, California and then a private investigator, passed away of complications from his long illness. He is survived by a missing wife and daughter, Lianne and Veronica."

i_He lay in bed, countless tubes and needles piercing his body. Veronica reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on his arm. His skin was hot, and she felt the fluids pulsing in and out of him moving under her fingers._

"_Dad," she whispered tentatively._

_Keith Mars opened his eyes blearily. His gaze was unfocused at first, until he looked at her. "Hey," he greeted softly, "is my action figure daughter turning into a crying Barbie?"_

_Veronica smiled through her tears, then self-consciously pushed her hair back. "And has my tough cookie dad been laid low by health problems?" she teased back._

_To that, Keith returned her said smile and replied, "It looks like it, honey."_

_She closed her eyes. It was then that the tears flowed nonstop. "It's just a bug," she told him, knowing he knew she was lying._

"_I'm going to be fine, Veronica," Keith assured her. "How are you and Duncan?"_

"_We're okay. Don't you worry about us." Briefly, she remembered Celeste Kane's proposition. "And don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of everything, dad."_

"_Come here." Keith lifted the arm with fewer needles stuck into it, and drew his daughter into an embrace. "I don't want you to worry, or to change your lifestyle for me. We'll survive this, Veronica. We survived a psycho murderer. This is easy."/_i

She shook her head, denying pieces of a puzzle that slowly escalated to a tallest mountain of lies she had imagined. "Duncan, you did not do this to me," she whispered. For the first time since waking up and accepting that Duncan was the only person who would take care of her and whom she could trust, Veronica stood and walked over to the bedroom, changed her clothes and decided that she would break the one promise he had made her swear to. Veronica would leave the penthouse apartment and venture out on her own.

When she reached the door, the phone rang. It was Duncan, undoubtedly. No one else had this number except for him. Veronica debated letting the phone ring unanswered so that he would know just how mad she was. Involuntarily, she walked over and picked up the phone.

"Duncan," Veronica rasped.

"Mrs. Kane?" Veronica gripped the phone to her ear. She had never once heard an unfamiliar female voice on the telephone that only Duncan had the number to. "Mrs. Kane, my name is Li Shia."

"Li Shia," Veronica repeated. "I'm sorry but I don't know you."

The woman on the other end of the line took an audible breath. "I'm very sorry, Mrs. Kane. I know I'm never supposed to contact you. There's been an emergency."

"Is this about my husband?" Veronica inquired. In her heart of hearts, she was connected to Duncan. She felt ice form around her heart. Veronica walked over to the window and drew the drapes. In the distance she saw the sheets of rain pouring from the sky. Lighting lit the sky.

"Mrs. Kane, can I come by to see you please?" Li Shia asked. "I want to do this in person."

Veronica's nerves drew tight, and she felt that she did not want to hear what Li Shia would have to tell her. "Who are you?" Veronica demanded.

"I'm Mr. Kane's secretary."

Junior programmers did not require personal assistants. Veronica was certain of that. "Tell me the truth."

"Mrs. Kane," Li Shia insisted, "I am telling you the truth. Please. I know that there's a security threat against you and that's why Mr. Kane had never taken you with him to any of Kane Software Pacific's public events. I will show you my identification card. I promise that I don't mean any harm. I need to see you, Mrs. Kane."

Veronica swallowed at the company name. "See me in our apartment," she agreed. She hung up the phone and sat heavily on the couch. "Damn it, Duncan," she whispered. "What have you been hiding from me?"

She knew, based on the pieces of information that she had gathered, that Duncan allowed her to have, that it would only take a few minutes for Li Shia to make it from the office to the penthouse. After all, it was an elevator ride away. When Veronica heard the knock on the door, she walked over to open it.

A short girl, with black hair tied to a bun and deep almond eyes, stood in front of Veronica. "Mrs. Kane, I'm Li Shia." Instead of extending a hand, Li Shia presented her with her company id. Veronica took it and saw the logo. Kane Software Pacific, a subsidiary of Kane Software International. At the back was Duncan's signature. Below his name, his deception. Duncan Kane, CEO.

A lesser woman would have trembled, Veronica thought. "Come in," she whispered. "Can I get you anything?"

Li Shia followed her into the living room and shook her head. She waited for Veronica to sit, then she took her own seat. "Mrs. Kane, I've been working for Mr. Kane for some time, and we've never met," Li Shia began. "I know the circumstances. Mr. Kane trusted me enough to be privy to that. That's why I know it's my role to step in now."

Veronica shook her head. "I don't understand what's going on. Duncan left a few hours ago to help out an old friend."

Li Shia moved forward and reached for Veronica's hand. "Mrs. Kane, Mr. Kane boarded a ferry to Tsim Sha Tsui."

"He went to see Logan Echolls." Veronica frowned. "He was in jail, and Duncan came to bail him out."

The secretary nodded, and reached for her phone at once. "I will get someone to bail Mr. Echolls out."

"Didn't you hear me?" Veronica demanded. "Duncan is going to do that."

Li Shia shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Kane. I didn't want these circumstances to be when we would finally meet. Mr. Kane spoke of you so highly." Li Shia turned to Veronica and said, "Mr. Kane's ferry struck fire at the center of the river and sank. It was a freak accident. Lightning struck the bow."

Veronica snatched her hand away and covered her mouth.

"Mrs. Kane, rescue operations are under way. We've sent people to look for survivors. We will get him back," Li Shia assured her. With a determined look, Li Shia told her, "I swear, Mrs. Kane, everything is being done for your husband."

"Take me to the dock."

"It's better for you to stay here, Mrs. Kane," Li Shia advised. "Mr. Kane had always been protective of you. I can't just take you there. It's chaos. You won't have enough security."

"Take me or I will leave myself," Veronica threatened.

Li Shia stood. "Very well, Mrs. Kane. Let me just make the arrangements for your husband's friend."

Inside the police station in Tsim Sha Tsui, Logan watched the storm whip around the island. It had been several hours—more time than it should have taken the punctual Duncan Kane. When his disappointment faded, and Duncan still did not arrive to turn over the bail money and lecture Logan, he started to worry. Duncan never failed him when he needed help. He would not start now.

Even with the circumstances of that final night, the night of Veronica's accident, Duncan had done everything in his power to make it a little bit easier for Logan, if that was even possible.

Sometimes, no matter how much he thought he had finally recovered, memories still assailed him enough to strange and suffocate him.

_iRain forced him to run all the way home. He was breathless when he finally closed the door behind him. _

_Logan placed the laptop on the table, then dried drops of water from the leather bag. He looked around the small apartment. He proceeded to the bedroom, because that was where she usually stayed. After the frightening bleeding episode that she had experienced on her fifth month of pregnancy, the doctor had advised her to get plenty of bedrest. Often Logan arrived to find her sleeping._

_When he opened the bedroom door, Logan was surprised to find her leaning over a crib. She turned around and grinned at him. Veronica extended a hand and Logan took it._

"_Where did you get this?" Logan asked, impressed at the quality of the wood. He had convinced himself that purchasing a plastic crib would be practical for their finances. Wood was for babies born like him—to fake families of movie star parents and starlet sisters. After all, finding quality wood furniture in Hong Kong meant big bucks._

"_Duncan came by and gave it to us," Veronica informed him. She smiled brightly. "It's gorgeous, isn't it? I was going over our bank account and I was so afraid we'd have to buy one of the cheap plastic ones."_

"_Duncan would never let you down," Logan said in reminder. He had been uncomfortable with the attention and devotion that Duncan had shown her. What had disturbed him more was when Duncan handed him an engagement ring after finding out that Logan had asked her to marry him, but postponed the ring for a time when they were not saving up for a baby._

_Logan wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her fragrance. He then pushed her hair back from her shoulder and saw a faint bruising on her neck. He had studied like crazy when he found out about the baby. When he had to take her to the hospital, he had driven himself more into books regarding pregnancy to know that something was off. "Veronica, have you been taking your vitamins?"_

"_I'm fine, Logan," she said faintly._

_His embrace tightened. "You didn't answer my question."_

_Veronica pulled away from him and walked over to the closet. "Can you bring in my small table from the living room?"_

_Logan's jaw clenched. He nodded, then went to the living room. He was about to pick up the table when he remembered that there was a drawer at the side. He took it out to prevent the contents from sliding out. Logan placed the drawer on top of the table and saw the vitamin bottles. They were all empty._

_She had run out and instead of telling him to buy more, she had simply stopped taking them. Logan lifted the table and proceeded to the bedroom._

"_I'm going to get you more vitamins from the drugstore," Logan told her quietly._

"_Logan, really, you don't have to."_

"_Stop it, Veronica. We'll cut back on a few expenses. I'm upset you didn't tell me you've run out." Logan dropped the table beside the crib, and despite his intention not to spill the contents, papers and bottles slid to the floor._

"_I didn't have to tell you about it, Logan. Duncan found out when he dropped off the crib. He was going to get them from me." Veronica turned to Logan and saw the change in his expression. He bent to pick up the contents of the drawer. "Logan, please don't be upset. You know it wouldn't matter to Duncan."_

"_It matters to me," he said tightly._

_As he picked up the contents and placed them back in the drawer, he saw documents that recorded money transfers from a Kane bank account to an account under Veronica's name in Neptune._

_Logan grasped the documents, crumpling it in his hands. He stood up and saw Veronica's eyes widen when she looked down at what he was holding. "Logan—"_

_He ran his fingers through his hair and shook the documents. "You should have told me that the money's such a big deal!"_

_Veronica shook her head. "It was never about the money, Logan!" she denied, the entire time feeling the bile that rose to her throat as she remembered the deal she had made such a long time ago, that deal she regretted because of how it ruined her relationship with Duncan in exchange for giving her father comfortable last months. _

"_It is about the money," Logan responded angrily. He threw the documents on the floor. "Just tell me so I can have Trina wire the money you said you didn't want! We'll drown in Aaron's money if it means you don't have to go to the Kanes for it!" he yelled._

_Veronica's hands dropped down to her seven month belly. "You're so much more to me than money," she whispered._

_Logan stalked over to her and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him and crushing her mouth with his. "One hundred twenty four thousand dollars," he mumbled against her lips. Logan gripped her arm. At the back of his head he knew she would bruise. She hissed in pain. "That's nothing."_

_She opened her eyes and saw that despite his anger his eyes were moist with tears and betrayal. The pain in his eyes throbbed inside her. _

"_Tell me, Veronica, have you been receiving money from them?"_

_Veronica closed her eyes. "Yes."_

"_Did you see Duncan before I even met him again?" he demanded. Logan turned his face away and turned her around, pushing her against the windowsill, which she gripped. He hiked up her skirt and drew down her underwear, kissing the backs of her thighs._

_Veronica felt wetness against her legs. This time, they were Logan's tears. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. _

"_You never told me the two of you met before then."_

"_I owed him," she confessed through her tears. She had left Duncan in exchange for money and broke his heart. Even if it was for her father, Duncan did not deserve to be dropped and left without explanation._

"_Shut up," Logan growled, thinking of what she would have done to set off a hundred thousand dollars of debt. He stood behind her and bit her neck. He laid his hands on her hips and pushed inside her, in his anger still careful not to hurt the baby. "Shut up."_

_Veronica cried, but relished the feel of his hands on her skin, his body inside hers. She was so afraid this would be the last time. A man could only take so much._

_All along she knew she was playing with fire. She had known it since she started seeing Logan with so much still left hanging with Duncan._

_He pushed inside her, and now her nape was wet with his tears. Logan grunted into her ear. "I hate you," he cried out as he released himself and spilled at the back of her thighs. Logan held her tightly against him as they stumbled back from the window to the bed._

_Veronica turned in his arms and reached for the buttons on his shirt, shivering at the feel of his come outside her womb. He never came outside her body before, and it scared her that he did now. When she revealed his chest, Veronica kissed him there. She reached up to kiss his lips, but he turned away._

_From the pocket of his half-open pants, he drew a ring and tossed it behind him on the bed. "I would've given you that," he said coldly. "It's probably worthless next to so many other things he can get for you."_

_Veronica saw the small gold ring that in fact faded in comparison to what Duncan could have and would have offered. She slid it on her fingers and showed it to him. "It's more beautiful that anything I've ever seen," she told him through her tears._

_Logan shrugged her away and stood up, then fastened his pants. "Just go away," he choked out. "I don't want to see you ever again."_

_Veronica watched his back as he left. Then he turned around, "You'll see what kind of man I am when I use my money the way Duncan uses his, and I will, Veronica. You'll settle child visitation rights with people I buy with money."_

_An hour and she still stared at the closed door. When she finally pulled herself up, Veronica picked up spare change and in the rain, tried to hail a cab. Fifteen minutes later, one stopped and let her in. "Eaton House," she said to the driver._

_Duncan met her at the lobby and took in her form, drained and wet. He opened his arms and wrapped her in a warm embrace, shaking her as she shivered and dripped on the carpet. "I only ever wanted you to be happy," he whispered into her ear as he led her to the elevators._

"_That's how fast it took," came the whisper that sent cold fingers running down their spine._

_Duncan turned with Veronica in his arms and saw Logan drenched, looking across at them from the lobby of Eaton House. Logan turned and walked away._

_Veronica pulled herself out of Duncan's arms and ran after Logan. He walked briskly, and Veronica tried to keep up. "Logan," she cried out, "don't do this to us!"_

_He turned to her, his eyes blazing with anger. "I didn't do this to us, Veronica. You did!"_

_He was right. Veronica hesitated before following him again. In the middle of the street, under the rain, she pleaded. She reached for his arm, but he snatched it away. He hopped onto the sidewalk, his mind in turmoil about whether to go left or right, knowing he just needed to get away from her. He burst into a run. Veronica stumbled on the step and fell a few steps back by the corner._

_Logan heard the screeching tires and the muffled scream. He turned around, ran back and was frozen by the scene. _

_As if in slow motion, Duncan dropped to his knees in front of the prone body and looked up at Logan in fury and grief. __What the hell did you do?" Duncan demanded, his cry sharp and painful through the cold, still air. "What the hell did you do!"___

_Logan blinked at the sight, but did not move.___

_Beside the unmoving body, Duncan fumbled for his phone. "I have an emergency!"_

_The cab driver got out of his vehicle and looked in panic at the sight of the pregnant woman on the ground. He assessed the image of Duncan hunkered over the victim yelling at the taller man who looked on in confusion. Soon, the police had arrived with an ambulance. "He pushed her," the driver said when asked. He pointed to Logan Echolls who seemed to be caught in his own trance as Veronica was loaded onto the gurney. "He pushed her into the street," the driver claimed. _

_The cold metal of the handcuffs around his wrists vied with the coldness in his heart./i _

Logan crumpled at the corner of the jail and clutched at the inexpensive gold ring hanging around his neck.

"Echolls."

He looked up and saw a strange man standing outside. "Who are you?"

"I'm Mr. Chien, Mr. Kane's employee. I came to bail you out," was the introduction.

Logan stood up and waited for the police officers to unlock the door. He stepped out and shook the man's hand. "Where's Duncan?" he asked. It was unlikely for Duncan to have a representative do things for him. Duncan was personal, especially when it came to Veronica and to Logan.

i_"I took care of everything," Duncan told him as Logan sat outside by the pool of the Echolls' estate. "The charges were dropped. The driver was obviously lying."_

_Logan did not speak. He merely stared at the water. He was out of place, but he could not move. When he was charged, Duncan had used his influence and money to get him out of jail and into a plane bound for California so fast he did not know what was happening until the plane landed in America._

_Duncan handed him the gold ring. "You don't have to worry about anything. I've made all the arrangements. It's all over, Logan. Move on," he advised._

_When Duncan had left, Logan looked down at the cheap gold ring he had tossed at Veronica on that last night. It represented his love and devotion, and it meant…_

_Logan threw the ring into the pool and waited as the glimmer faded and sank to the very bottom. He closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep and fade into oblivion where he would not want to kill himself every second._

_Then he stood at the edge of the pool and dove deep enough so that he could reach the ring./_i

"Mr. Kane was on his way when his ferry boat capsized. We're still looking for him." Mr. Chien, apparently having completed his only job of bailing Logan out, bowed at the waist and hurried away.

Logan remembered the fiancé that Duncan had not wanted to mention. Logan would return the favor, then go back home to America because Hong Kong would always be a place of death and pain. He was unwilling to stay anymore.

Logan got onto a ride back to Hong Kong and saw the docks filled with people who were frantic and crying. He made his way to the desk where victims' families asked about their loved ones.

"Has Duncan Kane been found?" he demanded.

"Not yet," was the answer. "Please wait with his wife." He was pointed to the blonde woman who stood at the railing, looking out at the water.

Logan frowned, because Duncan had not married yet. Fiancé and wife must mean almost the same thing. He approached the woman, then stopped when an Asian woman walked over to her. "Mrs. Kane, you have to go home and rest."

"No," was the simple answer.

Logan reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. "Mrs. Kane?" The Asian looked up at him, and her eyes widened. Mrs. Kane turned around and looked up at him.

He found himself looking down at the tear-streaked face of Veronica Mars.

tbc


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

He would willingly get lost in those pools, Logan swore. He had spent countless nights speaking with a God he had before those moments mostly ignored. In those times Logan had tried to strike a deal with a dispassionate and it seemed disinterested Creator. As he drowned himself in alcohol and nightmares, lounging beside a grand swimming pool hoping against hope that a rough wind would push his limp body into the water so that he could end his existence effortlessly, Logan prayed he would look into those eyes again. He would have given everything he had.

Duncan's words, whispered bitingly into the cold South China breeze, haunted Logan into the lulling disbelief that his world had ended.

i_"You do know you will never see her again_."/i

To Logan, it was a death knell.

For Duncan, it was the most brilliantly ambiguous statement he could have ever devised.

"Veronica," he breathed when he found enough air in his lungs.

She reached up to brush away the tears from her cheeks. Logan watched the movements intently, half-amazed that she was in front of him and half-wishing he could kiss away the tears. "Logan," Veronica said, in that voice he had longed to hear. "You're Logan Echolls, aren't you? Duncan came to see you," she concluded.

Logan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her words.

"I'm sorry," she continued. "I was sick. I'd forgotten so much."

Li Shia stepped forward and laid a tentative hand on Veronica's arm. "Mrs Kane, you have to go home. I promise that we will keep you informed."

Veronica did not turn to the woman. Instead, she drank in the face of the man in front of her. Her mind juxtaposed this scruffy young man, who had about a week's growth of beard, to the clean cut jolly boy who had been with her, Duncan and Duncan's sister in photographs in albums that they kept. "I relied on Duncan for memories," she admitted, "but I recognize you. You were our friend."

Cold fingers clutched at his heart. He turned to the woman beside Veronica, and saw the fear in her eyes. "Veronica, maybe I should take you home."

There were so many things she wanted to ask, and she could not ask them from this familiar stranger in front of Duncan's secretary. She nodded, then offered, "Maybe you can stay in our apartment."

"Mrs Kane, it doesn't seem appropriate," Li Shia began.

Logan closed his eyes against a tidal wave of memories. He had lived with her, had decided that she would be his wife; they had conceived a child and he had in anger, grief and desperation taken her when she was full of their baby, as she bent over the windowsill and cried about the destruction of their life. Propriety was his last concern.

"I'm sure Duncan would rather I stay at home with his best friend than spend the night worrying about where he is," Veronica said to Li Shia, in a voice authoritative enough that there would be no disagreement. "Please keep me posted."

Veronica reached out and took his hand in hers. Logan shuddered in reaction. Electricity surged inside his body, shooting up from his fingertips. He tamped down the desperate urge to turn to her and wrap her in his arms in an embrace that she would never escape. He caught the twinkle in her eye as she pulled him along with her and they hurried away from the dock. "Do you have money for a cab?" she asked.

She had asked him that once, under the rain, long ago. Then, he had none. Today, he had only just been freed from jail, and grabbed what he had of his belongings. Logan took out his wallet and picked out soggy dollars, then handed them to her.

"Did you jump into the river?"

"I did," he managed to choke out. Maybe he drowned, and this entire sequence was the advantage of dying. Someone told him that after death, you woke to your own version of heaven. Logan wondered if he was so spiteful that his initial version of heaven, recorded by the universe to let him live after he passed away, was a Hong Kong in which Veronica was alive, her memory wiped clean of his final crime to her, and Duncan was gone in a blazing ferry.

She smiled at him sadly. Logan thought her smile was dulled still by the knowledge that her husband was out there somewhere, perhaps hurt or dead. Despite his ambivalence, he comforted her with, "He'll be fine."

Veronica hailed a cab, then told the driver, "Causeway." In the ride back, she turned to him and gazed at his features, as if she needed to memorize them. "Logan Echolls," she said his name again.

"Veronica Mars," he said out loud.

Her eyes widened, and she gripped his fingers. Logan relished the painful pleasure. "Mars. Like Keith Mars," she deduced. Logan had confirmed the one conclusion she had drawn herself, and with it he had told her that Duncan had betrayed her trust for not telling her that the portrait was of her father.

Logan swallowed, then to Veronica asked, "Just how much don't you remember?"

She looked down at her lap and hesitantly revealed her biggest weakness, which she found odd because she did not know him, not really. Her mind barely recognized that he had been prominent in photographs of the past. Now he was a stranger. Her brain had shut him out. Veronica wondered if she should watch herself, but one glance at him as he looked at her pulled the truth from her lips. "I woke up one day and I only knew Duncan Kane." Tears filled her eyes and she did not know why. "He told me my name was Veronica."

He reached up with a trembling hand and brushed away a tear with his thumb.

"I was his wife."

Logan's eyes fluttered closed.

"I couldn't remember anything." The memory of utter helplessness threatened to choke her. Veronica covered her face with her hands.

She turned to him and saw that he was now staring out the window of the cab, watching the road fly past. Veronica laid her head on his shoulder. Photographs never lied. To her recollection, this was the first time she had met Logan Echolls. However in her heart, she trusted him. She closed her eyes and sought to rest her burning eyes.

Logan saw none of the scenery outside the window. Instead, he thought back to what she had told him. His best friend had so much to answer. In that split second when his world shattered, Logan wondered if Duncan had decided on his plan then. His memory after the accident had been hazy, but the bits and pieces he did remember told him a lot.

i_Logan sat quietly in the backseat of Duncan's town car. Where they were going was unknown. All Logan knew was that he had been led out of his jail cell and ushered into a car. Duncan had been waiting inside._

_He flinched at the blood on Duncan's shirt. Logan looked down at his hands and saw the dried blood that still stained his skin._

"_I'll take care of everything. I want you to forget what happened, Logan. It's not your fault. What happened happened because you loved her."_

_Then, Logan found himself in Duncan's embrace as they stood in front of the Kanes' private jet. He was ushered inside. He watched the island get smaller as the plane gained altitude. Soon, Hong Kong was a distant, painful memory_./i

She shifted beside him, and Logan realized that she had fallen asleep. He remembered the reminders of the woman on the dock. The cab turned in the narrow streets of Causeway Bay. He was about to wake her up when he saw the large K on an impressive column. Logan looked up and saw the building. Since the sun had begun to set, the name of the building shone in the night. Kane Pacific. He stopped the cab and gently drew some of the bills from Veronica's hand and paid the cab driver.

"Ronnie, we're here," he whispered into her ear.

i_"You and me, Ronnie. Forever," he whispered_./i

She opened her eyes and sat up with a start. Veronica stared at Logan with a frown. The lingering voice in her dream sounded so much like he did.

"What did you say?" she demanded.

"I said we're here," he repeated.

Veronica took a deep breath and nodded. Logan opened the door and got out of the cab, then extended his hand to Veronica. He helped her out. "How did you know this is our stop?"

Logan smirked at her and pointed up. "I can read, you know. You have the biggest house label in the world."

She looked up at where he was pointing and gasped. "Oh my God!"

"You've never seen that before?"

Veronica shook her head. "He never took me out long enough for it to get dark." She narrowed her eyes. "Kane Pacific." It was the same company on Li Shia's id card. "So my husband isn't a junior programmer."

"Duncan Kane, CEO?"

She nodded. "So I've read."

When the two of them got off on the top floor and entered the penthouse apartment, Veronica excused herself to go to the washroom. Logan made himself at home, wandering around the apartment. He opened the door to Duncan's home office and looked around.

The desk was full of picture frames. For a newlywed most especially, it was not unusual to fill your territory with photographs of your wife. Logan had been working with pictures for enough time to understand the true sentimental value one photograph had to the owner. However, to one who had merely created a truth, the desk seemed proof of an obsession. Logan picked up the picture frames one by one and studied them. Duncan had displayed images of Veronica, yet all of them seemed taken only in the past few months.

Whatever pictures Veronica had seen that included Logan, they were not prominent anywhere in the room. Logan saw the notebook neatly stacked in the corner of the desk. He picked it up and opened it. It was an address book. Logan flipped through the pages of endless names that he did not recognize, people with whom Duncan did business with. As he searched through the pages, Logan turned to E out of curiosity. He was not listed, and he supposed that Duncan had memorized his number enough not to have written it down.

Logan leafed through the rest of the pages and finished by closing the book. It was then that a slip of paper fell.

Logan picked it up and saw a phone number. He took the phone and punched in the number.

Invalid.

Logan focused, thought of the reasons why a phone number should not have a name, tried not to entertain answers that led to the conclusion of damning a dead man. Then, just to see, he punched in the American country code and dialed the number.

"You have reached Dr Mills' office here in Neptune, California. Our working hours are from nine to five daily." Logan glanced at his watch and calculated the time zone difference. It would take half a day more before he could speak with anyone. He folded up the paper in two, then saw another phone number at the back. Using the same country code, he dialed. The phone rang.

"Duncan Kane?" came the bleary voice. Logan waited. "Duncan, are you there? What's wrong?" the voice prodded when there was no answer. "Is this about Veronica?"

Logan released a harsh breath, then finally said, "Dr. Mills?"

There was a pregnant pause, then, "Yes. Who is this? Why are you using Mr. Kane's phone?"

"Does Duncan call you a lot?" Logan inquired.

Dr. Mills sighed. "What do you want? I will not talk to anyone except Mr. Kane."

Logan let out a bitter laugh. "Is that true? Dr. Mills, you probably know more about Veronica's condition than anyone in the world. Duncan Kane is probably floating in the South China Sea." He swallowed, because as much as he was unwilling to just give up his friend for dead, he needed to know. If Duncan's corpse would not be able to provide him with answers, then someone else should. "I arrived to find Veronica Mars completely clueless about who she is. I'm going to tell her the truth. I need to know how this will affect her, because I am not going to stand by and watch her live her life according to what a lying bastard taught her."

A long pause. Logan hoped the good doctor considered his words. "Who is this?"

"This is Logan."

"Logan, Duncan consulted his wife's case with me."

"She's not his wife," Logan gritted. "She was my fiancé until this… amnesia…" he spat, "gave him a chance to erase me from her life and put himself in my place!" He caught himself before his volume rose. He looked outside and saw the light under the bathroom door. Logan walked over and placed his ear against the door, then heard the faucet running. He went back to Duncan's office. "I want to know what you know."

"This is privileged information," the doctor argued. "It's against the rules."

"So is treating someone based on a phone call from another man."

"I am not involved in any of this," the doctor disclaimed. "I received a call from an old patient, frantically asking for help because his wife had lapsed into catatonia. I asked him if she was in an accident."

Logan sucked in his breath as memories of Veronica, lying in a pool of blood in the middle of the street, struck him. If only rain could wash away his guilt the way it did the blood on the cement. "She was."

"She was hit by a car," the doctor agreed. "But it wasn't the cause of her catatonia. That accident she easily recovered from, if you could call it that."

Logan settled onto a chair and listened as the doctor narrated the story to him as Duncan related it. Despite his lies, Duncan would have told the doctor the truth about the accident. Logan trusted enough in Duncan's desire to make Veronica better that he would tell the doctor the real circumstances.

i_Her tears drenched the pillow as she stared out the window. Veronica watched the rain pound against the glass. It did not stop. Hong Kong would flood. She wished she were submerged underwater and drowning. It was the only way to stop the pain._

_The drug that trickled into her arm should have taken care of it. She should have been numb. It seemed nothing was powerful enough to take her grief away._

_The door opened and Duncan walked in, still bloodstained, already exhausted. He stopped beside her bed and said her name. Slowly, she turned her head and looked at him, her eyes dead. When Duncan glanced down, it was to see her hands gripping the blanket over her stomach. He reached down and carefully disentangled the blanket from her hands._

"_You should be sleeping," he murmured. "You're still recovering."_

"_Where is he?"_

"_Veronica, you should rest. I know you're in pain."_

_Tears slipped silently from her eyes. Her lips held a tinge of blue, and it terrified Duncan. Her hands fisted again as she fought against the pain. "They're waiting to take him out," she rasped. "They're going to take him."_

"_Veronica, if they don't it will poison you. It's dead."_

"_He's my baby," she said softly. "I want to keep him."_

_Duncan leaned over her and kissed her forehead. "You're lucky," he told her. "Stop and consider that. You're lucky to be alive. The impact could have killed you both. You're lucky you're alive," he repeated. Duncan brushed the hair out of her eyes. "There will be other babies someday, Veronica."_

_She blanched when her stomach cramped. Nature wanted to expel the baby. Veronica cried out, and Duncan moved to call the doctor. She grabbed his arm. "Where's Logan?" she cried._

"_He's on his way to America," Duncan told her._

_Veronica squeezed her eyes shut. The doctor and nurses ran in. "Duncan, promise me that you will never let him see me again."_

_Hours later, when Veronica Mars opened her eyes, she sat up and asked for her baby. Duncan had been there beside her the whole time and told her that it was dead. She had vowed not to sleep until she saw the baby._

_They showed her the baby swaddled in white cloth, a fully formed and handsome boy, developed to its eighth month. Veronica parted the blanket and kissed the baby's temple, fingers and toes, then whispered her goodbye._

_For the next eight months, Veronica Mars belonged to another world. When she returned, she was a shell./_i

"Her catatonia, and her subsequent amnesia, was not caused by a physical blow. In such cases when the amnesia is due to physical trauma, it is easy to hope that once the trauma subsides, the mind will heal itself. Veronica's retreat was psychological and emotional. I can't say any more beyond that." The doctor waited for Logan's response. When none came, he continued, "Give her time to heal the wounds that aren't physical. Maybe then she'll remember."

Unable to hear any more beyond the narration, Logan put the phone down. He turned around and walked out of the room. He was in time to see the bathroom door open. Veronica walked out wearing a bathrobe, her hair wrapped in a towel. She blushed at the sight.

"Are you okay, Logan?" she asked when she saw his expression.

i_"Promise me. Promise me you will never let him see me again."/_i

Veronica walked over to him and laid her hand on his arm. He winced and moved away. "Logan?"

"I'm fine," he rasped.

She nodded. "Logan, there's something I need from you."

i_Go back to America, Logan./_i

Veronica waited until he met her eyes. When he finally did, she pleaded, "Tell me about me. Tell me everything Duncan won't say."

To loathe the man who lied and betrayed him at the behest of the woman they both adored. Or to admire the friend who stood by her when her entire world had crumbled around her.

i_Fuck you, Duncan. Rot in hell._

_We'll burn down there together_./i

tbc


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

Logan cleared his throat and nodded. "Why don't you go ahead and put something on," he suggested. "I'll see what I can whip up for dinner. You must be starving. We'll talk when you get back."

She flushed. Logan watched as she hurried to her room. He then turned towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Time to heal, the doctor had told him. Was that what Duncan had been giving Veronica? Was time the reason that Duncan had never told her about him? Did Duncan have any other reason apart from fulfilling his long held dream of, as he had put it long ago, making her happy?

Logan took a look at the contents of the refrigerator and wondered how Veronica's life with Duncan was. There was no food readily available, and whatever ingredients were in the crisper were limited.

"Sorry," he heard from behind him. "We live on takeout."

Logan glanced back and saw Veronica already in a tank top of shorts. He turned and smiled. "Not a problem. I'll call."

Veronica grinned at him and informed him, "I already did. When I was drying off I remembered that you won't find anything helpful in the kitchen. Duncan loved me for many things, but it was never for my culinary skills." Then, after realizing that she had spoken of Duncan in the past tense, Veronica flushed.

"You remember your life with Duncan."

Veronica shrugged her shoulders. "He had always been very vocal about his feelings." She turned to pick up some clothes she had taken with her. She presented them to Logan. He looked down at the pile and the shaver on top. "I thought you might want to wash up since you just got out of jail."

Logan smirked. He walked over and accepted her offering. He stopped close to her that they were almost toe to toe. Veronica looked up at him and held her breath. "Thank you," he said but did not move away.

"They're Duncan's," she put in, in an effort to break the hold his gaze had on her. "I hope they'll fit."

"Is this your way of telling me I stink?"

Veronica shook her head. "You smell like the sea. It's not altogether bad."

Given that he had dived into the water that likely claimed Duncan's life to retrieve an inexpensive camera that she had bought when they were penniless, Logan desperately needed to believe that the odor was going to be acceptable to her.

He went over to the table and took out his wallet and personal effects from his pocket. Then Logan proceeded to the bathroom. "When I get out, the food better be here," he said lightly. "I'm starving, and your bathroom smells like mango."

"It's my body wash," Veronica told him. "Duncan bought it for me. He likes the scent of mango on my skin."

Logan wondered if he slammed the door a little too loudly then.

When the door closed, Veronica ran over and checked the doorknob. It was locked. She put her ear against the door and heard the running water. Logan would take longer. Veronica decided to give in to curiosity and picked up his wallet. The texture of the leather was odd. She opened it and the first thing she saw took her breath away.

Veronica laid the open wallet on the table and sat down. She traced the water stained photograph. In fact, now that she noticed it, it seemed that the leather wallet had recently been drenched and half-dried.

"Veronica!" Logan called from the bathroom. "Can you hand me my wallet? I think I should hang it in here to dry."

"What happened to it?" she called back. "It's a little squishy." Veronica walked over to stand outside the bathroom.

The door opened a crack and Logan reached outside to take the wallet from Veronica. "An accident."

"Tell me about it?"

"Not while I'm butt-naked," he answered, then closed the door.

Veronica walked over to the table and starting preparing two places on the table. As she laid the plates and utensils, she sighed. It was the first time that she would be eating with someone other than Duncan. She never had to set more than two places on the table then and she would be setting two now. She had so many questions for Logan. It was not every day that a friend from the past arrived, someone as equipped as Duncan to answer questions for her.

The doorbell rang, and Veronica jumped up and hurried to the door. She opened the door to the delivery man.

"Mrs. Kane, your order for two as usual."

She took the bag from the delivery man and thanked him. "Did you put extra gravy in here, Marc?" Veronica signed the tab, the way she always paid with the restaurants that Duncan had made arrangements with.

"And I put another cup of potato salad on the house. I know how much Mr Kane likes his potatoes!"

Veronica's heart dropped a little. She did not bother correcting him. Instead, she handed the man a bill as tip and waved goodbye. As she made her way to the kitchen, she saw Logan stepping out of the bathroom in Duncan's clothes, freshly shaven, with his hair still half-wet.

"They fit," he told her.

"That's good. We don't have to run down to pick up new clothes for you."

Logan stood uncomfortably in Duncan's clothes. It had been so long since he had worn such expensive, business casual attire. He had always been a casual dresser. Logan had never needed to dress up in the job he chose. He could write and take pictures naked, although he never tried. "I think I'm going to have to visit the street markets tomorrow. Duncan's clothes are still Duncan's clothes."

Veronica nodded. "Can I come with you?"

"I thought there's a security threat against you," he tested.

"Nobody can keep me here anymore," she snapped.

"Well bring your credit cards and cash. You're going shopping tomorrow."

Logan watched her reaction from the corner of his eye. She was staring at him dumbfounded, as if she could not believe that it worked. He tamped down the urge to sit her down and shake her, ask her why the hell she allowed Duncan to imprison her in luxury.

Veronica shook her head and proceeded to take out the food from the bag. Logan snatched up the cups of potato salad and dumped the contents on the plates. He took a deep breath when Veronica put the chicken on the serving bowls.

"Tell me about us, Logan."

Logan blinked up at her. Did Veronica Mars really expect him to encapsulate a lifetime over dinner preparation?

"I mean, what were we?"

Logan smiled sadly. "We used to be friends. Then suddenly we weren't."

i_Logan clutched the phone to his ear, one evening so long ago after waking up from a nightmare. "What happened, Duncan? Tell me again what happened," he demanded._

"_All I knew is you were fighting," Duncan told him. "The rest you shouldn't ask about anymore."_

"_What do you mean I shouldn't? That's my family you made me leave. I'm booking a flight back to Hong Kong right now."_

"_Logan," Duncan said soothingly, "recover first. Stay there. You'll be in familiar surroundings."_

"_I need to know that they're okay," Logan gasped in desperation. It was horror to remember too little and to wonder about too much. "My son. Is he okay?"_

"_Logan," Duncan said softly, "don't you remember?"_

"_I don't know what's real and what's a nightmare."_

"_She lost the baby, Logan. You pushed her into the path of a speeding vehicle."_

"_What?"_

"_There's a witness, Logan. Just know that I don't believe you would ever hurt her intentionally. I promise you, Logan. I'll take care of it."/_i

"Did we ever grow close again?"

i_Did we/_i

"Of course, Veronica," Logan answered.

i_Their fingers were intertwined and she held on tightly. He was moving over her, inside her, and Veronica had thrown control and caution into the wind as she pushed back against him, eager to find that peak that they had been driving towards._

"_Logan," she whimpered._

"_Ronnie," he groaned into her throat._

_Stars burst from beneath her tightly closed eyelids. "God, Logan, I love you."_

_He pumped inside her unevenly as he fought for control over the insanity brought on by her tightly clamping muscles. Then he surged forward one last time and buried himself to the hilt, releasing himself deeply inside her womb the way he always did. "I'm not myself anymore," he whispered against her hot skin. Logan blew on her collarbone. _

"_What do you mean?" Veronica's fingertips danced across his spine._

"_I don't have words enough to show you how much in love with you I am," he confessed. Logan got himself off her and instead spooned behind her. He splayed his hand on her tummy. "Do you think tonight I showed you exactly how much? Do you think we'll have proof soon?"_

_Veronica put her hand over his and closed her eyes. "I hope so."/_i

He waited until she was seated before he sat down as well. Veronica stared at him, waiting for him to expound. "Veronica, suffice to say however often we have a falling apart, fate will always throw us back together."

"Logan, why is there a picture of me in your wallet?"

Logan met her eyes. "Because I was in love with you," he told her matter-of-factly.

"Did Duncan know?"

"Yes."

She nodded in understanding. "That's why he didn't want to take me to Tsim Sha Tsui with him to bail you out. He was afraid. Did he think I loved you too?"

Logan wet his lips. "Duncan knew everything there was to know between us, Veronica."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "There's more to us than what you're telling me," she said.

At that, Logan placed his fork down and focused on her. The doctor had cautioned him against revealing the past so that she could take the time to heal and remember by herself. Duncan had taken the advice and warped it by creating a life for her that she never had. Logan, on the other hand, would take the small pieces of memory that she might have and build upon them. "Why do you say that?"

"I dream a lot," she admitted. "I dream of faces and places that when I wake up, I think I only imagined. I was so convinced I had such an active imagination. But then I dreamed of a face so clearly that I was able to have someone make me a portrait of him."

Logan swallowed, unable to believe that it would be so easy. She would then draw a picture of him, and everything would be fixed.

"I had people investigate who the man on that portrait was. They told me it was Keith Mars. Later I found out I'm his daughter."

Logan's heart ached at her sad eyes.

"That was when I knew those dreams weren't just figments of my imagination."

"Dreams often tell us about our past," Logan said. He should know. He had fought so hard against those dreams when he had lost her for the first time.

There had been that one dream that he had fought so hard to escape from. It was a remnant of the past he had been trying to forget, just so that every day he would not want to kill himself. Logan wondered why that particular dream drove him to depression more than memories of the night of the accident. He never found the answer.

i_It sounded like swishing water and tiny thumps._

_Of course, that was when she stopped giggling because the cold metal tickled her. _

_Logan took off the stethoscope from his ears and glanced at Veronica, who was sitting back on the couch, trying to stifle her laughter. "Oh look at you!" she gasped. Veronica sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Did the baby call you names?"_

_Logan smirked. "Let me see your reaction when you hear the heartbeat. You're a marshmallow, sugarpuss." He then placed the stethoscope in her ears and helped her maneuver the cold metal to find the heartbeat. He watched her reaction. When her expression changed to awe, he crawled up to kiss her on the lips._

"_Oh my God," she whispered as her eyes filled with tears. "There's an actual, live person inside me!"_

"_Yes, there is!" Logan agreed laughingly./_i

The memory killed him every time and he decided to call it a nightmare during one of his drunken stupors.

"Logan, sometimes I dream that I'm listening to a baby's heartbeat inside my womb." She laughed bitterly. "That's impossible though, right?"

He did not answer.

"And there's a man, and I know when I think of it, that I felt so much, and I was so overwhelmed. It wasn't Duncan, Logan. I could never see his face in my dream and I don't know why."

Logan pushed away the plate from in front of him.

"Did I imagine it all, Logan?"

"Being with you, Veronica, gave me the happiest and most miserable moments of my life," he confessed. "And I swore to God I'd get it all again, heaven and hell."

They held their gazes as they tried to make sense of what the other shared. Veronica had so much to ask, and little by little it seemed that Logan was willing to talk. Before she could speak again, the phone rang, but neither moved. The answering machine picked up.

"Mrs Kane, this is Li Shia. I apologize if I interrupted your sleep. Mrs Kane, we believe we may have found Mr Kane. He is not doing well, and he needs you. I will wait for you in the dock."

tbc


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

Breathless, Veronica stared at Logan as the voice of Duncan's assistant hung between them. Logan's eyes fluttered closed as the inevitability crushed him. For one brief moment over their dinner preparation he had wondered if it could be this easy, for once in his life. If Duncan had died in that accident, it would have been so easy for him to ingratiate himself into her life again. He would be the former friend who had always loved her, there to comfort the widow of his best friend.

In that picture perfect life that Logan had imagined as he served the potato salad, Logan would learn everything that Duncan had fed Veronica and just live with those make believe facts. He would take anything, if it meant she would be part of his life again.

No one relished the possibility that if all went well, and she remembered everything, she would turn around and look at him for the murderer that he was.

Logan was the father who had killed his son.

Had he not pushed her onto the path of the cab, there would be a toddler pulling at her hair every morning. She would not be a lost woman who had no idea who she was. Maybe she would be his Veronica after all was forgiven and the misunderstanding had been worked out. Or she would be Veronica Kane.

But she would know who she was.

Slowly, Logan opened his eyes and saw Veronica's anxious gaze. He took a deep breath and decided, "We're going together."

Veronica nodded and stood up, leaving the food on the table as she made her way to her room to bundle up. Duncan hated it when she stepped outside without warm clothes. When she emerged from her room, Logan had covered the food and placed the dishes aside.

"We can eat when we get back," Logan told her, not mentioning that dinner would depend on the state Duncan would be in when they found him. In fact, they would likely have no appetite for dinner whether or not he was alright.

Veronica walked over to him and waited for his hand to grasp her elbow to lead her out. When he did not, and instead presented his arm for her to hold on to, she smiled and clutched at him.

"I'm exhausted," she murmured in the elevator. "I hardly did anything today and I'm wiped out."

He understood. When your mind went on overdrive, and your emotions churned as much as hers did, then she would really be tired. "You can sleep in the cab," he offered.

"I don't know if I can. I'm so confused. I'm nervous."

He settled her in the cab and slipped inside beside her. She fidgeted as Logan told the driver where they were headed. Veronica looked outside at the tall buildings that they passed, absorbing the way they left Causeway Bay. Within moments, she had slumped against Logan with her head on his shoulder as she dozed restlessly.

Logan looked down at the blonde head and smiled. Her eyelids fluttered as she slept. He prayed to God that memories visited her in those dreams, because it would be his best bet that the past, their happy happy past, would be awakened in her mind. Her hand dropped to his thigh. Logan touched her slender fingers and wondered why Duncan never bothered to place there the platinum ring that he had been itching to give her. Without conscious thought his hand drifted to the warm golden band that hung from a necklace under his borrowed shirt.

"You a tourist?" the driver asked.

Logan was startled back to the present at the voice. Hong Kong cab drivers rarely spoke. They were fast, efficient and quiet. This one seemed unusually eager to chat. "No," his voice rumbled.

"We out of Causeway Bay."

Logan noted the road that the driver took, and figured that he was taking a longer way. "Why are we in Happy Valley?" he demanded. It was the one place he would never be ready to visit again. "You should have cut through the Times."

"Time in the night," the driver explained. "We never get out."

Logan held his breath as the driver maneuvered expertly along the twisting, narrow streets of hell. His hand grasped Veronica's as he recognized the waiting sheds that she often waited under, on those days when she felt ill and he had to saunter into the world to write. They had run down these streets, along the sidewalks, as the rain pelted down on them. They had run because they had no money, but they had laughed all along because they were content.

He had never been as happy in his life as he had been when he lived hand to mouth in what Duncan had referred to as squalor. Logan had been with the love of his life.

The cab turned around the bend, as Logan recognized immediately the building outside. The cab slowed and sputtered, then fell to a stop. Logan's heart thumped, then thundered.

Outside, the golden letters glinted – EATON HOUSE.

"What's wrong?" Logan said in a low voice. Veronica would not wake up to this sight. She would not be forced to wait outside on the street, right in front of where the accident happened. If he knew one thing, that would be it. Fate wouldn't be that cruel. "Take us to the dock now."

"It's okay!" the driver assured him. "You stay inside. I look at car."

Logan watched with hooded eyes as the driver popped the hood and vanished under it. His arm wrapped around Veronica's shoulders as she settled into her sleep. The night was dark outside, same as that night. The only thing missing was the rain.

Veronica's hand reached up and rested on his chest. Logan held his breath so that she would not wake up. However, at the loss of the steady lulling motion of the cab, Veronica woke. Her hand closed over the tiny bump under his shirt. "What's this?" she asked sleepily.

"It's just a ring," he answered.

"Well, I hesitate to educate you, but it should be on a finger," Veronica retorted. Then, realizing how she sounded, she glanced up at Logan. He was looking at her with a glint in his eye, and not in offense as she expected. 

Logan took her hand in his. "It's too small for mine. Maybe I'll let you wear it one day. It's just big enough for yours."

Veronica met his eyes in silence, and then, feeling uncomfortable, she noticed that they had stopped. "We're not at the dock," she observed.

The hood of the cab slammed closed, and Veronica jerked up to a sitting position. Logan sat up and glared at the driver. "No more. You hire one more cab."

And that was it. Logan was going to have to lead Veronica out of the cab and have her wait outside the very hotel that Duncan had been occupying the night she ran to him, the night after he took her in brokenhearted violence, the night he had, quite possibly, reacted in anger and caused her to lose their baby.

"Come on. I'll get another cab," he told her. He then stepped out of the cab and walked around to open her door for her. He was about to help her out when she jumped out herself. "I'll just check on the cab. Maybe we can still salvage this."

Logan walked up to the driver and asked the man to pop the hood again. Seeing the smoking engine, Logan shook his head in disgust. He then leaned to check on Veronica. She was not standing where he had left her. Logan stalked back to the front of Eaton House and called out, "Veronica!"

There was no answer. Logan ran to the other side of the cab and glanced down the street. There, he saw her standing in the middle of the street, looking down at the clean street. That particular spot had haunted him in his nightmares. Now, she stood so intently staring at where he had once seen her lying in a pool of blood.

"Veronica!" he yelled, more harshly than he intended. The cab driver stared at him. Logan froze when he saw the headlights flash from the curb of the street. Veronica did not look up. He burst into a run and slammed against Veronica, knocking her out of the street and rolling down until they hit the sidewalk pavement.

A blue vehicle passed them sedately by.

"Are you okay?" he gasped frantically, pushing back her hair from her face. "Veronica?" Logan saw the scrape on her forehead and cupped her face in his hands. "Ronnie, are you okay?"

She groaned and pushed his hands away. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded. Logan saw the sparks in her eyes as she glared at him. "That car was moving so slowly it wouldn't hurt a sleeping cat in the middle of the road!"

He had the grace to look embarrassed. Then, truthfully, he confessed, "I would never take a chance with you."

"Thank you very much!" she responded sharply. "Roll off me now." Veronica wondered why she seemed so snappy around Logan. She never talked like this with Duncan.

Logan rolled off and helped her up to a sitting position, then stood and pulled her up after him. He held her close, and Veronica could hear the sound of his heart beating. She laid her palm against his chest and felt the frantic heartbeat. Veronica looked up and saw the fear still in his gaze.

Veronica saw the scratch on his chin. She reached up and ran her fingertips against it. Logan sucked in his breath and cupped her face. Then, he leaned down and captured her lips with his. Veronica's eyes fluttered closed and returned the kiss. Feeling her respond, Logan wrapped his arms around her and half-lifted her. Veronica clutched at his shoulders, lost in the kiss.

"Logan," she whispered between kisses.

"Ronnie, I love you."

She had the strongest urge to say it back. Instead, Veronica placed her palms on his chest and pushed away from him. "Logan, no. Duncan…"

He swallowed. Logan decided to take a risk. "Do you feel it?"

She squared her jaw. "It doesn't matter," she told him. "We have to go." Veronica turned and at that point, saw the cab approaching. She flagged it down. "My husband is hurt. Don't do this to us."

Logan watched her get in and followed. Once she had said those very words, and he threw them back at her face. He swore he would have Duncan settle this once and for all. Logan unfastened the chain around his neck and slid the ring out. He showed it to Veronica. "When we see Duncan, when you find out everything, and I swear we'll make him tell, you're going to wear this, Veronica."

She turned away from him and looked out the window.

Logan closed his hand around her fist. He prayed she would not snatch her hand away. She turned her hand around and intertwined her fingers with his.

Far away, in a bare hospital room, Duncan Kane hissed at the biting feeling of someone else's hand closing around his injured one. "Veronica," he rasped.

"Mr. Kane, your wife is on her way," Li Shia promised, teary eyed. "Please relax, Mr. Kane. She's coming."

Duncan opened his eyes into slits and took in the woman who had been working for him for so many months, who gave him information without question, who worked long hours to provide everything he had needed. Even on this hour of personal crisis, there Li Shia stood, bending over him, caressing his marred skin. "I want Veronica," Duncan stated.

Li Shia nodded. "Mr Echolls will take her here with him," she explained.

Duncan's nostrils flared. He tried to sit up in bed, but his bandages prevented him. "What do you think you're doing, Li Shia?"

She smiled and comforted Duncan with a hand on his chest, where no burn marks ran through her skin. "It's time, Mr. Kane. You knew it will come."

Duncan glared at his assistant, who then lowered her eyelashes and focused on the sheets. He sighed and squeezed the hand he held.

tbc


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

Stepping past the bodyguards posted by Kane Software, Veronica clutched at Logan's hand. These people who now scrutinized her as she headed towards Duncan's hospital room had always been aware of her presence on the top floor of their building. They had worked to protect her, yet never questioned the fact that she had remained hidden, unseen. For the most part Logan respected the unwavering loyalty that they had given Duncan. He himself would never be able to serve blindly.

As they rounded the corner, Logan saw the glass doors open to reveal the small Asian woman who had been with Veronica since the beginning of this trying journey to find Duncan. Surreptitiously, Li Shia brushed away a tear. Logan glanced down at Veronica, who said quietly, "This must be so hard for her. She's so devoted to Duncan, you know."

At that, Logan looked back thoughtfully at Li Shia, her figure growing brighter in his eyes. He recognized the unsteady shoulders, the downcast gaze, and then finally, the smile she forced on her lips when she saw them. She was him, in several moments and instances when he had thought he'd lost her.

His hand around hers, Logan walked with Veronica towards Li Shia. They stopped in front of her, and she nodded to Veronica.

"Li Shia, we came as soon as we received your message."

Through hooded eyes, Li Shia watched Logan. Living with actors taught him to school his face to impassivity, and he knew he was inscrutable.

"Come in, Mrs Kane."

Logan's hand around Veronica's tightened. "I'm coming in with her," he told Duncan's assistant. There was no way that he would give Duncan the same power, to weave stories, to create lies. In the end, it was his and Veronica's life that would be affected.

"It's all right, Logan," Veronica said softly. "I'll see my husband alone."

He felt her hand slip away from his. His heart in his throat, he watched as Veronica vanished into the private comfort of Duncan's intensive care room. For so many times that he had lost count, Veronica walked away from him and turned to Duncan.

Logan closed his eyes, feeling alone, abandoned, isolated once again. Then a small warm hand rested on his back, and he turned to see Li Shia looking up at him. "He started out meaning well," she shared softly. "Mr. Kane loved her. I saw how much every day."

There was a long, pregnant pause, and then he said, "But you only met her when you told her Duncan was missing."

She shook her head. "It was the only meeting she remembered. I was with Mr Kane from the start, when we nursed her back to health. Mr Echolls, nothing done out of love can be judged good or evil," she offered. At Logan's surprise, Li Shia filled the gap. "I have a degree in Psychology and masters in Philosophy from Yale."

"And you're a secretary." She shook her head, and Logan knew not to push. "Beyond good and evil, huh?" he prompted lightly. It was then that she turned away.

Logan walked over to a chair and slumped down on it. Duncan Kane had already done so much, too much. This time, he prayed that Duncan would give Veronica everything that she needed to hear.

The sound of his labored breathing brought tears to her eyes. Duncan had been, ever since she could remember, the stronger one, the dependable one. He had held her hand through the months that she spent wading through oblivion, taken care of her, wanted only to protect her.

Now he was incapacitated, stuck to a hospital bed while she spent her time in the arms of a friend she now knew harbored such deep feelings for her. If her heart were to be trusted, it seemed that she returned those feelings. And Duncan had spent so long keeping her away – if only to preserve their marriage.

She walked over to the bed, where her husband lay. At her approach, he turned his head and regarded her through pain-filled eyes. "Veronica," he breathed.

Veronica sat down beside him and reached to cup his cheek. "Duncan, I'm so happy you're alive." She felt his slight nod against her hand. "But everything remains the same." It was time to end it all. She felt guilty to be taking advantage, but she needed to do it while she was obviously the stronger one. On any other day, in the same positions they had been in since she could remember, Veronica would know deep down that she would listen attentively to all that Duncan had to say, even if they were words she didn't want to hear, even if they were his urges for her to calm down and accept his version of the truth.

"There's too much," he protested in a rasping voice that made her want to stop him and ask him to rest.

"Start with the beginning, Duncan. What happened to me?" She shook her head. "And don't feed me a lie about a car accident right outside. There hasn't been an accident along Causeway Bay for years!"

"It almost looks like you already have all your answers, Veronica. Why do you bother asking me?"

"I don't have all the answers," she confessed. "I need you for that. But Duncan, even if I had, I still love you enough to owe you the chance to tell me yourself. You're my husband!"

Duncan winced as he moved on the bed, and Veronica knew that the burns along his skin licked pain throughout his body. He wanted to live his life the same way he had been doing before Veronica started to ask. He had been supporting charitable institutions since he was twelve and his father decided that the fund for his birthday party should instead be given to a homeless shelter. Was this so much to ask in return – to get the life he deserved?

"Veronica," he said quietly.

She glared at him in frustration, then saw him open his bloated hand. Veronica was reluctant at first. However, when she looked into his eyes, she realized she could not deny him that simple thing. Veronica placed her hand in his. "Just please tell me," she asked tiredly.

He studied their clasped hands for a long time. Then, he confessed, "Everything I did I did for you. Veronica, we're not married." Her eyes flew up to meet his. "Not yet anyway. But it's only a piece of paper. We can get married anytime."

"What? Duncan, what happened to me?"

Beginning with that small piece of truth made it easier to launch into the rest. However, Duncan's heart broke with each tear that slipped from her eye. "I only ever wanted you to be happy, Veronica. It was a series of mistakes that we can't correct anymore."

"Tell me what happened to me," she demanded.

And so he did. Duncan told her about her decision to leave him and Neptune in exchange for a payoff from Celeste Kane. He told her about Hong Kong and what he had learned about her life with Logan. "I gave you everything, didn't I?" he prompted, as he recalled a leaking roof and an unsound apartment building that stood for home while she was with Logan. "I gave you everything he wouldn't give you."

When Duncan started to talk about fulfillment, her hands slipped over her stomach, thinking back into a dream that seemed more like a memory now.

"You were going to have a baby, and you were always sick. But I was there for you," Duncan told her. "I made sure Logan didn't neglect you. It was his insecurity that made you lose the baby, Veronica. I didn't lie about a car accident. You were fighting with him, and then you were run over by a car."

She had snatched her hand away then, and she sobbed into her hands.

"They took out the baby, and it was a fully formed little boy."

She shook her head, because she did not want to hear any more. If something else needed to be remembered, she would do it herself. No more words from Duncan. Veronica unsteadily stood on her feet. "You hid all of this from me. You made me believe, in so many lies," she sobbed.

Duncan gasped in his breath. "You turned to me and pleaded with me. I promised I'd do what you asked! They were going to take out your dead baby and you turned and you cried and you said that I'm never supposed to let Logan see you again."

"I don't remember anything!" she cried out. "Don't you think you could have taken those words as something I mindlessly said because of the pain, the grief?"

"I only did what you wanted me to do," he repeated.

Veronica turned away from him and went over to the door. With her hand on the knob, she stopped. She did not turn around and look at him. Instead, Veronica said with her back to him, "I'm leaving the penthouse. I'll check on you from time to time if you need me. I'll look after you until you're better, because that's what you did for me."

She waited for a response. When it did not come, she turned the knob. Just as she was about to step outside, he muttered, "Don't do me any favors. I have Li Shia."

Veronica closed the door behind her and laid her head back. She took several deep, calming breaths. When she opened her eyes, she saw Logan looking down at her. And then she remembered Duncan's simplistic story.

"We were together in poverty?" she said softly.

Logan swallowed, then cupped her face. "He lied to you again," he told her. "In those few months, we were richer than he was ever going to be."

He leaned down and kissed her, and she returned it with bittersweet regret. Veronica pushed him gently away. "I have to go back to our apartment. I need to pack my things."

Logan sighed in relief, then rested his forehead on hers. "Stay with me," he requested. "I swear we won't have to live in poverty anymore."

Veronica laid her hand on his chest, then shook her head. Logan's heart raced, and he knew she could feel it.

"Why not, Veronica? I don't know what Duncan told you, but I can tell you the rest. You can live with me and marry me the way you were going to before the accident."

Veronica stood on the tips of her toes and captured his lips in a kiss. Then, she told him sadly, "Logan, I need to exist outside the two of you." When he was about to protest, she rubbed her thumb against his cheek. "It's the only way I'll remember for myself, Logan."

Logan's hands balled into fists, then he stalked out, towards the street. She followed close behind him. He hailed a cab and led her in, before settling in beside her. Curtly, he gave the address to Kane Pacific.

The rest of the ride was silent. When the cab stopped in front of the building, Logan finally sighed and told her, "I'll take you to the airport. Get you a ticket home to the US. Then I'll leave you there."

She could visit her father's grave, look around the places she supposedly grew up in, speak with people who knew her from the past. Veronica would do all this, and Logan would not interfere. She would remember the past in her own terms.

It was cathartic to Veronica, the way she packed up the life she led with Duncan. In the end, she only left the apartment with a suitcase of clothes and her sketchbook. The rest, she would leave with the lies. Logan emerged from Duncan's office with her passport.

Within two hours, they were outside the airport terminal. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

Veronica nodded, but could not help breaking down in tears.

He pulled her up into his arms and wrapped her in his embrace. "Shhhh. Ronnie, what's wrong? I thought this was what you wanted."

Veronica clutched at him desperately, afraid to let go, afraid to meet his gaze. "If we do this, I'm going to lose you. And I just found you again."

Logan pulled back to look into her face. He brushed away a lock of her hair. "I'll always be here where you can find me," he promised.

"Don't go. Stay with me!" she said frantically. "Forget what I said. Stay with me while I remember everything."

"I understand what you need more than you'll ever know," Logan said in a low voice. "You're right. You need to be alone." Her life with Duncan had been a perpetual dependence on a man who had lied all along. She was Veronica Mars. She needed to take back her own power. "I swear you won't lose me," he promised, his voice raw with emotion. "Even if I tried to hide, the Veronica Mars I know would find me. And I'm not even going to hide from you."

Logan drew her close to him, and kissed her. "Bye, Veronica."

She shut her eyes tightly, and melted against him. She clutched at his shirt. Then, she took a deep breath and pulled away. Logan's heart swelled at the sight of Veronica gathering up enough courage to do it herself, convincing herself to be brave, so that she would do what needed to be done.

Veronica picked up her bag and headed into the terminal. When she was about to enter the plane, Logan called out to her, "Find yourself, Veronica! I'm anxiously anticipating the day you come to find me."

She smiled and then dropped her bag, flying towards him. Logan chuckled and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Cold feet?" he murmured against her lips.

"No. I just forgot to tell you something." Then, she smiled and fingered the ring that hung from his necklace. "Keep this safe, Logan? The owner might claim it back soon."

He laughed softly. "God, I love you, Ronnie."

She nodded. "Soon."

As her plane vanished into the horizon, Logan tamped down the intense urge to take the next flight out to California.

She was right. Veronica needed to exist outside the two of them. If there was anyone who can find her way back from oblivion, then deception, it was Veronica Mars.

Logan closed his hand around the gold ring.

tbc


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10

"I don't know how to thank you," Veronica gushed as she stepped out of the sheriff's vehicle clutching a bouquet of Malaysian mums. "I mean, I only asked for directions and you were so kind to bring me here."

The sheriff nodded and grinned at her. Veronica was amazed at how accommodating the sheriff was. Then again, she had learned that Keith Mars had served as sheriff once as well. When she had rolled down the cab's window to ask the good sheriff for directions to the cemetery, he had offered to drive her there himself. "Anything for Keith's daughter," he assured her. "Let me go and show you which one is his spot, okay?"

Veronica gave him a lopsided smile. "So you heard that I forgot some things?"

The grin was endearing. "I could actually see it for myself," he mumbled.

"Oh my God!" Veronica gasped. "Did we know each other? I'm so sorry, sheriff!"

The sheriff shook his head and chuckled. "See now if I knew you'd be embarrassed about it I wouldn't have said anything. And yes, we used to date." Veronica flushed. The sheriff extended a hand and then walked her across the grass. "It was a very long time ago. You were jailbait. And call me Leo."

"Jailbait, huh?" Veronica responded easily, wondering about how easily she had become comfortable with this man. It had been almost the same with Logan. There were people that, even when you had no real recollection of them, you could so easily grow to trust. Duncan had done so much for her. She wondered why they had lived in a sort of tight distrust the entire time. Perhaps it was the deception. Maybe Duncan had always been haunted by his lie.

She stared at a white marble angel in the distance. Even if she had no memory of who informed her of this one fact, Veronica knew that white marble angels often stood guard above the graves of those who died so young.

_i"I told you before, and I'll tell you again," Duncan's quiet voice came. It was so close to her ear. Veronica wondered why he had been so close then. "I don't want us taking her here. Why do you insist on this?"_

_It was then that the woman's voice responded softly. "Her son is buried here. She'll blame you for the rest of her life if she learns that you never let her visit."_

"_She doesn't even know she's here. She doesn't even realize her baby's dead."_

_Veronica felt a female hand rub circular patterns on her back. She was rolling by, she knew. Seated, there was no control. Even if she wanted, Veronica could not move her legs._

"_Fine," Duncan answered. "We're staying for ten minutes and then we have to leave. I don't want anyone taking pictures."_

"_We're in Hong Kong, Mr Kane. You're just a businessman. I doubt people will be snapping crazily away for stolen photographs."_

_The chair stopped, and Veronica's eyes were downcast. Then, she remembered that fragrance of strawberries engulf her. Soon, a black-haired woman knelt by her feet. Veronica felt herself hoisted a little, then settled on the grass. They were prickly, and her memories were of an intense need to scratch her legs. Her hand was led to touch the cool marble and trace letters etched on the stone._

_The whisper in her ear was assuring, and Veronica wondered why she was being told them. "You can choose a name, and we can change it. Just wake up, Veronica," the woman told her._

_She tried to remembered, tried so hard and it was so difficult. What was written there? What letters were embedded into the stone that the woman had run her limp hand over them? _

_b**Baby Boy Kane**/b/i_

Veronica gasped at the eerie memory. She had been there. She had been aware. It was possible to remember. If she could find snippets of memory from the time when she was insensate, then clearly it was possible to remember that life she had forgotten that she desperately needed to remember.

She could still remember that life with Logan.

"Li Shia knew everything," she murmured.

In her mind, that gravestone was clear and stark. She was going to replace that marker. She was going to find out where Duncan had buried her baby, if she had to beg the liar for that information. Her son was not going to lie forever under a marker that gave him no first name and the wrong last name.

"I'm sorry?"

Veronica blinked away the white etched writing on the black marble. She turned to face the concerned eyes of Neptune's sheriff. "Nothing," she replied with a small smile.

They stopped before a gravestone, and a small plot of green grass against the brownish and dry grass around it. He nodded towards it to indicate that this was what she had wanted to find. "Your father," he said.

"Someone's been taking care of this," Veronica said in wonder. "Did you?"

Leo shrugged. "As much as I want to take the honor, Keith Mars was once part of Neptune's finest. We have funds for this sort of thing, and an arrangement with the caretakers."

"Well, either way, thank you so much." Veronica knelt and laid the flowers down. She glanced up at Leo, who nodded and walked a few feet away to give her privacy. "Hey daddy. I'm sorry it took me so long." She swallowed the knot in her throat. With everything that she had done, each person she met, every place she visited, it seemed like she was slowly waking up and remembering bits and pieces. It was a little too easy, and maybe it was. It only took acceptance that the life she was being told was incorrect. It took someone who would tell her that her dreams were actual memories and not products of her imagination. "I remembered you," Veronica whispered. "Even when I first woke up, I remembered you. But I thought you were just a dream. I'm sorry, daddy."

All through her journey in Neptune, and even while she was on the place, she kept herself from hating Duncan. She recognized what he had done, and she had known that he loved her. He was right. During her life with him, Duncan had never hit her, and had provided her with everything he could provide.

Veronica had been helpless once, alone, hurt. Duncan had taken care of her.

She didn't want to hate him. God help her not hate him.

"Daddy, what did you want me to become?" Veronica sniffled. "I remember you, and I remember that I loved you. But I don't remember what you wanted for me."

She settled down on the grass to sit, because she didn't want her knees to become sore. Veronica looked up to see Leo watching her from a distance. When he saw that she had seen him, he turned his back and walked farther away.

Veronica turned back to the gravestone. "Daddy, did you want me to work with law enforcement?" She thought not, but it killed her that she didn't know.

i_"…my action-figure daughter_."/i

Veronica smiled at the memory of his voice. "Did you want me to finish college?"

_i"I want you to save your money for your college tuition."/i_

She shook her head. "Did you want me to live happily ever after with the richest guy I can meet?" Veronica sighed. "I didn't do any of that. I'm jobless, and I didn't finish college."

i_He lay in bed, countless tubes and needles piercing his body. Veronica reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on his arm. His skin was hot, and she felt the fluids pulsing in and out of him moving under her fingers._

"_Dad," she whispered tentatively._

_Keith Mars opened his eyes blearily. His gaze was unfocused at first, until he looked at her. "Hey," he greeted softly, "is my action figure daughter turning into a crying Barbie?"_

_Veronica smiled through her tears, then self-consciously pushed her hair back. "And has my tough cookie dad been laid low by health problems?" she teased back._

_To that, Keith returned her said smile and replied, "It looks like it, honey."_

_She closed her eyes. It was then that the tears flowed nonstop. "It's just a bug," she told him, knowing he knew she was lying._

"_I'm going to be fine, Veronica," Keith assured her. "How are you and Duncan?"_

"_We're okay. Don't you worry about us." Briefly, she remembered Celeste Kane's proposition. "And don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of everything, dad."_

"_Come here." Keith lifted the arm with fewer needles stuck into it, and drew his daughter into an embrace. "I don't want you to worry, or to change your lifestyle for me. We'll survive this, Veronica. We survived a psycho murderer. This is easy."/_i

"I abandoned you," she said in realization. Veronica blinked quickly, stupidly. She tightly shut her eyes and forced herself to remember exactly what happened after that conversation. When had she seen her father again?

She needed to know if she had walked away from her father so easily. Duncan had told her about the money that Celeste had offered, and she had taken. Had she been that heartless?

Before she knew it, she was sobbing brokenly, one hand covering her eyes and the other grasping at the grass. "Oh God." What kind of daughter had she been? How had she been able to leave a dying father?

"Veronica," came Leo's low calming voice. He grasped her elbows and pulled her back. She felt his chest against her back. He must have knelt with her when he aw her break down. "Shhhh. It's alright, Veronica."

"I left him," she sobbed. "I left him here to die alone."

The smell of detergent on his starched handkerchief was unmistakable. Veronica felt the stiff and scratchy cloth as he wiped at her tears. "Hey now," he said soothingly. "Veronica, I'm sure there's more to it than that."

But all she could think about was that knowledge, in that swift visit of her memory, that there was a proposition that she must have taken. She needed to know so much, but Leo would not be able to enlighten her on that. Why had she abandoned a dying man?

"Leo, I have to know," she sobbed.

He nodded. "I'll do anything to help you," he told her.

The words scared her, not because of him, because he was so tender and sweet and giving. He could tell just in the simple conversation that he had carried in the car, and the unassuming way he held her as she cried. The words scared her because they encapsulated Duncan's reasons. "Do you know why I left?" she asked uncertainly.

"I wish I did," he told her softly. "Maybe I could have helped you. You were with Duncan Kane then."

"Then it was true," she concluded, voice breaking. Since Duncan had revealed to her that she had left Neptune and ended their relationship when Celeste offered her money, she had hoped that he had lying. After all, it was such a cold and calculating action that Veronica thought she would be unable to do it. "I left and hid in Hong Kong, and let my dad die alone."

"You don't remember anything at all?"

She gave him a shy smile through her tears. "Maybe I played it down some when I said I forgot a few things."

Leo tightened his hand around her shoulder and said, "Let me see what I can find out for you, okay? Will you be comfortable telling me what you know?"

She shrugged. "Most of what I know I was told by Duncan. I'm here to find out the truth. I don't know if I can be comfortable with the past if I only get told."

He stood up and held his hands out. She took them and allowed him to pull her up. "I want to trust you."

He gave her a self-deprecating smile. "Well I want to trust you too. Somehow an amnesiac Veronica Mars is easier to trust than the snarky kid I dated a long time ago," Leo informed her. "So, let me show you how much I didn't learn from the past."

She cocked her head to the side, wondering what he meant.

"And there's that head tilt!" Leo laughed. "You loved to do that. You were the master of the head tilt. You owned everyone!"

That comment lightened her heart. It was such a simple thing about herself, but it was what she came to Neptune for. Veronica needed to find out who she was. A comment as simple as that introduced her to the girl she used to be. Apparently, she dated a cop, and she tilted her head a lot. From the sound of it, she did it when she needed help. That meant she could perform sly manipulation tricks as well.

"I'm going to invite you to the station," he sighed.

"You make it sound like such a big deal."

Leo smirked. "Believe me, if you knew you, you'd know this is a huge deal!"

"Then I'd have to think of the best way to thank you."

His eyebrows lifted. "You're not with Duncan Kane anymore, right?"

Veronica's eyebrows arched, and she shook her head.

"Oh no," he mumbled, "you're not with the bad boy, are you?"

"The bad boy?" she rasped. Even though her voice was still thick with tears, she was curious to grasp as much of her personality as she could get from the words and actions of someone who used to know her.

"Well you were forever bailing out the leader of the criminal element of Neptune, that Navarro kid," Leo told her. "And you dumped me for that Echolls kid, who was easily as bad, if not worse, than Navarro."

At the mention of Logan, she felt a pang of loneliness assail her. Veronica shook her head. "I don't want to be involved with anyone until I feel whole again."

"And if I make you feel whole while I'm helping you remember, will you consider a dinner and a movie? You did dump me very suddenly."

Veronica reached out and squeezed Leo's wrist. "If you help me, I'd thank you forever," she told him as honestly as she could. "But I'm also going to want to meet up again with that bad boy you mentioned. He's the best man I know for me."

Leo shook his head good naturedly. "I'm always going to be left behind," he decided. "I should really consider being a bad guy. Nice guys always finish last."

Veronica's lips curved as quick images teased her brain, of kissing Leo on her front porch, of watching him play with his band, of his arrest of the staff of a pound, of his handing over tapes to her. "Leo, you're going to be perfect for another girl. You don't have to change anything about you."

"Thanks," he said. "I'll wait in the car for you so I can drive you."

Veronica smiled as he walked away, knowing he was giving her that privacy again so that she could say goodbye to her father. "Are you sure you can spare the time, sheriff?" she called after him. "What about your law enforcement stuff?"

Leo turned around with a grin. "I know you, Veronica Mars! Keeping myself around you is preventive. If I leave you to explore by yourself, you're bound to break the law one way or another," he yelled back. "I'll be waiting in the car!"

Veronica smiled and leaned down to touch her father's gravestone. One day with Sheriff Di Mato, and she learned a few things about herself. She dated a cop; she manipulated people; she was consistently with bad boys; she broke the law.

"Well dad, you probably wanted me with that guy, didn't you? You probably disapproved, but you really liked him, didn't you?" Veronica smiled and traced the letters of Keith's name.

i_Veronica's jaw stubbornly jutted out as she rode in the car with Keith. Her beautiful white dress was crumpled around her, hopelessly wrinkled after sleeping on Duncan's lap the entire way home after their limo party._

"_What possessed Duncan to let Lilly influence him like that?" Keith asked in the car. "You saw how they were. Lilly Kane has never been a good influence to you, Veronica, but I let you stay friends with her because I knew Duncan would watch out for you. Now, with Lilly teamed up with Lynn's boy, those two have gotten to be too much of a handful." Keith sighed. He glanced at his daughter. "What do you have to say for yourself?"_

_Veronica shook her head._

"_So you're not going to protest when I ground you?" Keith studied his daughter, with her messy long hair and blotchy makeup. "No Duncan, Lilly or Logan for a week."_

"_So I suppose I shouldn't go to school."_

_Keith's eyebrows arched. His perfect daughter never answered back. "Did you learn to answer back from Lilly or from Logan? God knows I've heard those two answer back to their parents more than once."_

_Veronica glared at her father. "Don't blame Lilly or Logan for this, dad. Just ground me if you'll ground me. We were all equally to blame."_

"_Oh Veronica," Keith muttered. "If there's a way I can keep you and Duncan away from Lilly and Logan, you two will probably be easier to handle."/_i

Veronica released a long held breath. "Daddy," she whispered. Finally, a new memory. It was not one that she had seen in her dreams, but it was real. "If you were alive, you'd probably die," she muttered, then winced at the logic. "Nothing you wanted ever happened. I'm never going to be with Duncan. Not again. You'd probably fry him alive if you find out what he did.

"You thought I'd be easier to handle with Duncan, and he did it. I didn't have a choice."

Veronica blinked away the tears. She was never going to heal if she kept remembering what Duncan had done. She was never going to fix herself if she latched on to the thought that Duncan had to be blamed.

"Duncan does not figure in my life anymore," she said, almost as if it was her vow.

Veronica glanced towards Leo, and saw him leaning back against the vehicle. She looked down at Keith's name on the stone and whispered, "Bye, dad. I'm going off to find your missing daughter, so I can leave Neptune as close to complete as I can be. The new sheriff looks like he's going to help me. Odd, isn't it? Love you."

She walked over to Leo. On the way, she sang softly, "I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz."

Veronica reached Leo, and she saw him frown. "The Wizard of Oz?" he asked. "Where did that come from?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. Did we talk about that movie a lot? Did we watch that movie when we were dating?"

"Definitely not." Leo walked around the car and opened the door for her. When he closed the door, he shook his head. "Damn, I failed again. If I'm going to be such a bad guy, I shouldn't be opening doors for you."

Veronica chuckled slightly. "Don't ever change, sheriff."

tbc


	11. Chapter 11

This is the second update within 24 hours. Please be sure to read Part 10 above first.

Part 11

Veronica noticed the people in the station look up when the sheriff arrived. She smiled and nodded at a few who seemed to assess her carefully. She turned to Leo and asked quietly, "Do I know them?"

Leo glanced around, then said, "Nah. None of the people who worked here a few years ago are here. It's a weekend."

"So only the new staff is here. Of course, the new employees can't choose their schedules," Veronica said in realization.

At those words, Leo smiled and shook his head. "I'm beginning to think you didn't forget anything."

He led her inside the station, and Veronica wavered at the barrage of familiar scents and sounds. She had been here, many many times. She did not know where the defense mechanism came, but assailed with what could possibly be the beginning of memories, Veronica tried to lighten her response. "Well maybe all this time all I needed was a talk with you."

The sheriff blushed and looked down. "Oh Veronica Mars."

Veronica smiled and walked forward. He lifted the partition and allowed her to get in. Veronica went directly to the second desk and smoothed her hand over some scuff marks. "Tell your deputies not to put their feet up too much. Their shoes are wearing the wood," she suggested.

Leo stopped beside her. "That used to be my desk," he informed her.

Veronica looked up at him, surprised. Her gaze fell on a closed door that had Leo's name on it. "May I?"

He shrugged and gestured with his hand towards the office. "Your dad used to work there."

Veronica headed towards the office and then pulled a chair to the corner. She then settled into the chair and looked around.

i_Veronica bit the pencil eraser as she tried to figure out the bearing of the boat and the lighthouse. Really, she was never going to be a lighthouse keeper or a sailor. Still she calculated using sine and cosine and used degrees and minutes and seconds._

_Her mother was sick at home. When her father had seen that, he had offered his office so that she could work on her homework in peace. Veronica still wondered why her father didn't make her stay at home instead. It was going to be easier._

"_You have your fourteen year old daughter in your office?"_

_Keith looked up and motioned for the lawyer to take a seat. "Veronica just has some math problems to work on."_

_The lawyer sat down and laid his documents down. "And you're okay with Veronica hearing about the case?"_

_Her father leaned towards the lawyer and said, "Just keep your voice down so you don't disturb her."_

_Veronica made a moue of distaste. Lilly was going to the mall, and she had invited her. Lilly had even made it a sweeter invitation by telling her that she was going to meet up with her brother to get her allowance before she went shopping. Veronica slipped her notebook into her bag, then tossed her pencil inside. Lilly had always known that Veronica thought Duncan was dreamy. She would have more fun with Lilly because Duncan was going to smile at her for about fifteen full seconds. That would be so much better than listening to the lawyer drone on and on about the case her father had investigated._

"_Dad, I'm going to the mall."_

_Keith held up his hand at the lawyer. He stood up and walked over to his daughter. "Are you done with your homework?" _

"_Yeah," Veronica told him. She took the notebook from her bag. "I can show you."_

_He waved it away. "No need to be on the defense, Veronica." He took some money out of his wallet and offered it to her. "Here. You can buy a sweater. Lilly's going on a shopping spree. You should at least get one thing."_

_Veronica took the money and leaned up to kiss her father's cheeks. "Thanks dad. I'll see you at home."/_i

"I hung around here a lot," she told him. Veronica stood up and looked closely around the office. She sighed. Veronica would rather be alone when she drowned herself in memories that seemed to be forthcoming. Leo was trustworthy.

He was not the man she wanted to be with when she reminisced.

"You were going to show me something?" Veronica prompted.

"Yeah," Leo told her. He walked over behind the desk and lifted a box off the floor and onto the tabletop. "Here we go."

"What is that?" Veronica said curiously.

"Our file on you."

"And you had this ready in case you run into me?"

Leo shook his head. "I wasn't that hung up on you," the sheriff pointed out. "I called in the request to take that from the archives while we were in the cemetery."

Veronica lifted the cover and picked out a manila folder. Her very first incident was being in the passenger seat of Lilly Kane's car when she swerved and ran a red light. At the very end of the folder, Veronica read the missing person's report filed after she had vanished.

She peered into the box and looked through some of the various knick knacks inside. "Fake IDs? Audio tapes? Pictures?" Veronica shook her head. "I want to go to the school."

Characteristically, Leo had offered to drive her to the school while she browsed through what Leo had given her. On the way, Veronica looked through some of the pictures from the box.

"Why do you have surveillance pictures of me?"

Leo glanced at the photos that Veronica was holding. "Those aren't surveillance photos of you."

"Could've fooled me," Veronica muttered.

"Those are surveillance photos of Logan Echolls. He was on our watchlist. He was a ticking bomb after your breakup."

Veronica studied the photograph. Although she was in focus as she sipped her morning coffee in the diner, Logan was right there in the background, watching her intently.

_iVeronica counted a few coins and dropped them on the table. Money. It was all going to be about money. The operation, the upkeep, the maintenance medicines. Her father was in pain, suffering through the worst fate imaginable. They called it a slow death, when your insides ate you alive but you just can't seem to die. With Celeste's money, the last few months of her father's life could be relatively painless. Keith Mars was a good man. He deserved more care than what his daughter had yet been able to provide. _

_She turned on her phone and dialed the number she thought she would not have to use. "I've thought about it," she said. "I'll take it. I'll drop by your house. Is Duncan there?" Veronica shook her head, knowing Celeste could not see. "I'll wait in the Camelot."_

_She rose to leave when a hand gripped her elbow. She looked back and saw Logan. "What are you doing?" she hissed._

"_A cup of coffee in the morning. You're skin and bones." Veronica flinched when he reached to tenderly touch the rings around her eyes. "You haven't been sleeping," he concluded._

"_I have a sick dad in the hospital that I have to watch over," she replied stiffly._

"_Who's watching over you, Veronica?" he whispered._

_Veronica shut her eyes tightly. "I thought you were off gallivanting around Europe." She was exhausted. "Logan, I have so much to do. Go back to Italy, or to Norway—wherever. I have problems of my own. I don't need to deal with yours." She walked away._

"_I'm going to talk to Duncan," he told her. _

_She had a plan, and Duncan was going to be left at the wake. "Stay out of it!" she snapped. Veronica turned around and regarded Logan Echolls, the spoiled pretty boy she had briefly dated before she went back into the caring arms of Duncan Kane. Logan had left without leaving her the chance to explain. Now she was going to do the same to Duncan. Veronica did not need Logan to rub salt into Duncan's wound._ /i

"We're here," Leo said as the car rolled to a stop in front of the school. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Veronica shook her head. She had left Logan to do this alone. Although Leo never once affected what she interpreted of her memories, and really she never told Leo about anything she remembered, Veronica needed to walk into that school with her own two feet.

"What do you want to find out, Veronica?" Leo drawled with a big smile. "I can tell you a lot."

"I just need to be here right now," she answered.

"All you'll find there, if you do look through yearbooks and annuals and newspapers, are frozen moments that point you to Duncan Kane," he followed up as she opened the car door and stepped outside.

Veronica looked at Leo sideways. "I'm insulted, sheriff. Didn't you know Veronica Mars is so much more than a man?" With a half-smile, she turned around and walked into Neptune High.

For the past few weeks since he had watched Veronica's plane vanish into the horizon, Logan had exerted all his effort into being a good and contented person. She had decided to face Duncan alone, and that was what he had allowed her to do. After all, Logan thought then, she was the one he had deceived, the one he had lied to, the one he had stolen from. With this in mind, Logan had rented a room in an elite hotel in Causeway Bay, and returned to the lifestyle he had shunned for so long.

When Veronica returned, he would show her that he was as willing as Duncan to provide for her. Money would never be an issue again.

Despite the silken sheets imported from Egypt, with a thread count that Logan could not even remember, and goosedown pillows under his head, sleep eluded Logan. When he tried to drift into sleep, hundreds of images attacked him. He fought them, but one or two held him captive and submerged him in their beautiful and terrible disaster that Logan was afraid he might not wake up again.

The night after Veronica left, Logan was dreamless only because he had been sleepless. He had itched to take the phone and call home to Neptune. He had no living relative there. No caretaker remained in the Echolls estate. Logan needed to speak with her, and knew if he called the sheriff's office, or the mayor, or the principal, or anyone else, one could pass a message on to Veronica. She would call him, definitely. He had seen in her eyes something almost like recognition and for the most part, almost like love.

He would have done it had he not respected her so much.

Veronica's journey had to remain her own.

And so the next night, Logan had taken a pill to help him sleep. It was more to prevent himself from dashing off to the airport to take the next flight out and take her back into his arms. As the drug worked its way into his brain, the first insidious dream overtook him.

_iLogan adjusted the lenses on his camera. The sun was bright above him, so he tested the lighting as he focused, then decided to turn off the flash and switch his mode. He then set aside his bag and searched for his target. When he chanced upon the boy running after his dog, Logan jogged towards him._

_From that distance he heard the giggle of the young boy. Logan knelt on the ground and focused on the boy and his pet. He peered at the view through the lenses of his camera and waited for the perfect time to capture a scene. He was fascinated by the way the boy's brown hair flopped on his forehead with every step he took. The boy then jumped on the dog, an animal obviously larger than the child. The two rolled on the wet tiles of the dock._

"_Now if I were you, I would've taken about forty shots by now."_

_Logan looked up to see Veronica shaking her head at him, her own camera hanging around her neck. She knelt down beside him and showed him the snapshots she had taken of the same subject. Logan defended his lapse with, "I can't help it if I am utterly fascinated with the sight of my son."_

"_And I'm not?" she challenged. "The difference between us, Logan, is that I will not let the moment pass. You've got to keep taking the pictures."_

"_I was waiting for the perfect moment."_

_She switched to her tutor mode, the one he had adored since she had first showed him how to use the camera she had given him as a gift, on their bed, naked, that one night after they had won the photo contest. "One of the shots I took is bound to be the perfect shot you were waiting for," she assured him. "But you've got to keep taking the pictures, Logan. I do it so I know I'll always have memories of everything I've experienced, locked in a hard drive somewhere."_

_Logan took the camera from her hands and displayed the photos. She was talented. She captured the angles and the shadows that he could only wish he could. He stopped on the eighth photograph she had taken and told her, "I'll have this one framed. I have almost the exact type of shot when I was a kid. And Jay looks a lot like me in this one."_

_Veronica glanced at the specific shot he specified, then nodded. She then stood up and yelled, "Jay! Come on. It's time for lunch."_

_He looked up and saw his son speaking with Duncan. Duncan held Jay's dog by the leash. Logan's heart thundered in his ears for no reason. He should have been happy. He would have chosen Duncan to be Jay's godfather after all the help he had given them during Veronica's difficult pregnancy. Still, when Duncan extended a hand to Jay and Jay placed his much smaller hand in it, Logan pushed Veronica aside and burst into a run._

"_Jay, don't go with him!" he screamed. Logan ran towards them, but it seemed that the small dock plaza had sudde3nly become endless. He watched in frozen horror as Duncan looked up at him, with his son's hand and the dog's leash in his hands. Duncan backed towards the railing that he had once seen Veronica climb for the perfect shot. "Jay, let go. Come here, son," Logan mouthed, but no sound came out. He screamed, but only silence left his lips._

_In front of his eyes, Logan saw the railing behind Duncan drop into the water. Then, Duncan stepped off the plaza, with Logan's son and the dog, and went over the edge._

_And when he blinked, Logan was on the same edge, looking down at the ripples in the water until the water calmed./i_

He had woken up drenched in sweat. It was the same dream every night for the remainder of the week. Each time he went to bed, Logan decided to do so many things different. He decided to take shots until the camera battery ran out. He thought he could choose a different snapshot. Or he wanted to make his way to Duncan before Duncan could see his son. Every night, despite his decision, Logan ended up doing it all the exact same way it happened in his dream.

Every night, he woke up and ran to the bathroom, doubling over the toilet bowl and heaving the contents of his stomach. He wondered if he should start drinking again.

Logan asked the hotel staff to clean out the alcohol from his minibar. She was not going back to a man half drunk, who had chosen to forget his pain while she fought to remember.

On the second week after Veronica had left, Logan dreamed of Veronica. It was oddly comforting, that dream.

_iHer stomach was tight like a drum. She laid in bed because she had no choice. Beside her, Logan placed hot sweet potatoes that he had clutched to his chest as he ran all the way home. "They burned, but I hugged them to me because I knew you'd love to eat them warm," he told her as she presented his offering._

_Veronica was teary-eyed as she peeled the first one and bit into it. While she ate, Logan pulled up her blouse to reveal the skin pulled tight over the rounded stomach. He laid his ear against the bump and listened. He then jerked up, and stared at her wide-eyed._

_Veronica giggled. "That's for coming home late!"_

"_Did you tell the kid to kick me?" he demanded._

_She snorted and continued eating the sweet potato. Logan laid his cheek on her stomach once more, then jerked up again. Veronica blushed. "That was the sweet potato," she protested._

"_You farted," he murmured in disbelief._

_Veronica squealed, dropped the sweet potato in the brown bag, then grabbed a pillow to hit him with it. "Shut up!"_

"_You farted, Ronnie," he repeated._

"_I hate you," she mumbled, then dropped the pillow and curved into a ball on her side. _

_Logan picked up the paper bag and placed it on the bedside table, then spooned her from behind._

"_It's normal you know," she whispered, sniffling. "I'm pregnant and bloated."_

"_I know," he said tenderly, kissing her temple. "I'm sorry for teasing." Logan sidled up closer to her. "Very very sorry. If you want I'll stay right here plastered to your back and you can fart as much as you want."_

_He felt her body tremble against him. Logan raised himself up on one elbow and grinned when he saw her chuckling./i_

Yet upon waking up, Logan felt more devastated than he had felt after the nightmare of the week before. He knew he would dream of that exact moment with Veronica for the rest of the week. And it was bound to hurt more, because it was all reality.

At the end of that week, Logan decided he would have his own closure. Veronica was not the only one who needed to face Duncan Kane.

He was as much shattered by the events as Veronica had been.

From Veronica, Duncan had stolen her chance to recover her memories.

From Logan, Duncan had stolen his life.

In the morning, on the third week that Veronica had left for the States, Logan hailed a cab and asked to be driven to Kane Software.

Arriving was easy. Access was not. He made his way to the elevator that led to the top floor when the guards stopped him. Of course, Duncan Kane, especially an injured Duncan Kane, would have an army to guard him.

The elevator doors opened, and Li Shia stepped out. Logan did not need to say a word. She took in his appearance, with his unshaven beard, bloodshot eyes and rumpled clothes, then directed her words to the guards holding him. The words were in Mandarin, but by the way the guards released him, Logan knew what they meant. He entered the elevator with Li Shia.

"I respect your right to demand answers from him," she stated, not facing Logan, but instead watching the numbers change swiftly as they ascended in the building. "All I ask is that you don't hurt him."

Logan scowled. Duncan had gotten off too easy until now. He was going to make Duncan taste at least a quarter of the pain he had inflicted upon Logan all these years. "In exchange for what?" Logan spat.

Then Li Shia turned to him. Her brown black eyes intent as she met his. She licked her lips. Logan wondered how someone so beautiful could devote her entire life blindly to a man who did not appreciate her. "I can tell you where your son is buried."

tbc


	12. Chapter 12

Part 12

It was fear that slowed him as he approached the dusty cherubim statue that sat atop the cemented pedestal. He slipped a pair of sunglasses from his jacket pocket and slid them on. He then glanced back at the car where Li Shia sat in the driver seat. Logan did not thank her. Instead, he nodded and waited for her to drive away before making his way closer to the cherubim.

In his head he thought he heard the giggles of small children.

He swiftly rubbed the tip of his nose and made his way towards the marble marker that the cherubim watched over. When finally he stood by the marker, Logan read the words. He held himself up. He wanted to. Instead his knees crumbled and he found himself kneeling on the grass.

_i"I need to know why," Logan rasped as he faced the man who used to be the one friend he trusted the most._

_In his wheelchair by the window, Duncan's lips curled. "I don't owe you any explanations."_

"_What?" Logan exclaimed in disbelief. "You took away my life, Duncan!"_

"_Did I force you to do anything that night? Did I make you hurt her, or whatever it was you did do to maker her run to me?" Duncan challenged. "Did I push her onto the path of the cab?"_

"_You constantly interfered with our lives," Logan defended himself. "If you hadn't intruded, we would have been happy."_

"_Veronica would have lost the baby much earlier because you wouldn't swallow your pride, take your father's money, and give her proper prenatal care."_

_At those words, Logan lunged at Duncan and grabbed his bandaged arm. Duncan hissed in pain. "Don't you ever presume to me what went on between me and Veronica! You have no idea, Duncan."_

_When Logan released his arm, Duncan released his breath. "This is how you respond to discussion? With violence? What does that tell you about your maturity? It tells me you need to grow up more before you can talk about love." At that point, Logan merely watched the play of emotions and thoughts as they ran across Duncan's face. "I know what love is. It's sacrifice. That's what I did for her. I sacrificed my life in America and exiled myself out here so I can be with her." Even in his wheelchair, Duncan managed to look down at his friend. "You couldn't even sacrifice enough to let go of your pride for her."_

_Logan shook his head, in bewilderment, in wonder, and then epiphany struck him. He would get no answers from Duncan Kane. Duncan would forever be wrapped up in the truth of his own beliefs to listen. Duncan had thought of his own reasons, and nothing would change that. _

"_My mother took her away from me. The universe had its own way of making up for injustice. That's why everything worked to the most logical and fairest conclusion. She was meant to forget everything," Duncan said. "I was meant to pick up the pieces."_

_Logan had come with his own theories – a stolen bike from childhood, Lilly's affection for her brother transferring to a boyfriend, a mother who gave Logan his freedom as opposed to Duncan's who merely controlled him, repressed anger or jealousy, a commitment of passion and reality over dreams and ideals. As he watched Duncan watch poetic about why he had made the choices he had made, Logan knew his theories were blown to hell._

_Duncan's steady gave held his. "I can't believe you're the one who's angry!" Duncan exclaimed in a high pitched voice. "You were in trouble here, and I did everything to make sure you got home. You didn't even have a problem with the airport security, and you were accused of frustrated homicide! I did all of it, Logan. I made sure she got the best care when they were going to abort the baby."_

"_Thank you, Duncan, for making sure I was in the most luxurious plane while cold hands were disposing of my son," Logan pronounced coldly. His gut clenched as he imagined the sterile room and gloved hands._

"_You hated her," Duncan said, his eyes glazed over as he remembered the scene at the lobby of Eaton House on that rainy night. "She wanted you out of her life. She told me that in the hospital." Then he focused on Logan, who now leaned against the wall, unable to support himself. "I sacrificed, Logan. I gave your kid my name, even if it hurt me that she had been pregnant with your son. That's what love is."/_i

With his bare hand, Logan scrubbed on the name on the marker. His skin burned as the material abraded his fingers. Logan fisted his hand and tried to erase it to no avail.

Minutes passed as he fought to blur the letters that told the world that buried in that plot was the son of Duncan Kane. At the back of his head, Logan knew he would not be successful, but still he rubbed, as if the action would delete the mistakes both he and Veronica had done in the past, and would eradicate the choices and actions that Duncan had made.

When he felt his muscles cramping and knew if he did not stop, his arm would fall off, Logan looked down at the stone. Nothing changed.

In his nightmares he had been a father. In his dreams he had been a father. Only in his conscious state, Logan had never felt the reality of having a son. He had worked it off his system in the States, when he had found out that his son had died. This was the first time he had tangible proof that his son had once existed. Revisiting the idea of being a father, and having it all taken away, Logan laid down on the grass, thankful for the fact that he was alone in the lot.

_iLogan turned the doorknob to leave, because it was futile to stay and listen to nothing. He was wrong. He would not have found his peace there._

"_With that immaturity, do you think you would have been a good father? It all happened for a good reason. At least Veronica's son isn't alive to know the disappointment."_

_Logan whirled around, a burst of intense pain raised his fist prepared to hit Duncan. Then Logan assessed him, sitting in his chair beside the window, alone in the penthouse apartment where he had built his life around a lie. Logan lowered his fist._

"_I had a family," he choked out. "I had a beautiful family of my own. I have the chance to have that again. You will never have that because if you think all you've done for Veronica is love, then I feel sorry for you."/i _

He looked up at the sky and watched the clouds move and chase each other. Logan felt the weight on his arm, and he turned his head and imagined a little boy with his head on Logan's arm, grinning with a missing tooth.

The boy pointed to the sky. "That looks like a rabbit!" the boy announced. "And there's a turtle over there."

"Jay, isn't that unbelievable? Why is the turtle ahead of the rabbit?" Logan prompted.

"Daddy," the boy reasoned, "just because the rabbit runs doesn't mean he'll always be the winner. The turtle knows a shortcut!"

Logan chuckled. A large cloud moved and the sun hit him in the eyes. When he regained his sight, he was once again alone.

"Veronica," he whispered, "how much longer?"

It was the same question that Logan would ask himself every day for the next year. Out there, in that strange country that was not really a country, which was so small it could pass as a town yet so diverse it was a continent, Logan Echolls lived his life every day walking from his rented room to the market, running beside the water, looking into the windows of shops, wishing he would see her when he turned the curb.

"Why don't you just go back to Neptune and talk to her?" the barista asked him as she called his name to hand him his coffee. He saw her when every day, the fears and desires became too much and he had to retreat into the coffee shop to surrender to the aroma and to drown his thoughts through typing them into a story.

Logan shook his head. "She needs to be by herself."

"She's been by herself too long," the barista told him with a smile.

What Logan could not raise was that if you had been completely under the control of a man obsessed, a year was too short a time to invest in yourself. Despite his own rationale, sometimes he wondered why he could not book a flight to California, not to tell her to come back to him but to ask her how she was doing.

Logan took the coffee with him as he strolled around the mall at the Times. This was his empty life. Logan went through the racks of shirts and assessed some jeans, tried to decide whether or not he needed another pair. Then he entered a boutique that carried Feng Shui good luck charms. He spent two hours pouring over jade stones in different shares and sizes, reading through how they reflected the karma of life. In the end, he walked out of the store with nothing. He heard the low rumble of the proprietor cursing him in Mandarin. He had been staying in Hong Kong long enough, and since he walked by every day, he knew the proprietor knew he was not a clueless foreigner.

Finally, Logan decided to grab a bite to eat. He was on his way to his favorite noodle shop when he passed by a bookstore. Logan stopped at the window display of the newly released volumes.

And there it was.

Logan saw himself staring at a hardbound copy of a book that had his face printed on the cover. It was a photograph with a story to tell, that began a journey for two lost souls in a faraway land. It was the photograph that purchased a camera that Logan would carry so long after he thought the journey was over. He entered the store and went directly to the display and picked up the copy. There he was, high above the rest of Hong Kong as he looked directly into the camera, the city's light shining behind and below him. It was the photograph that told the world she loved him. It was obvious in the way the focus was starkly on his face. It was a photograph that told the world he loved her, because his eyes never lied, and he looked into the camera, into her, with such genuine need.

The photograph had been used once. "As close to heaven as earth allows," he repeated from memory. He had captioned it. Of course he would remember it. Logan knew that Veronica had thought it was his ego that chose those words, and that he referred to himself in that caption. He knew the truth. At that one perfect moment at Victoria's Peak, he had been in heaven. Anyone could see it in his eyes.

He read the cover of the book. "Hong Kong is for Lovers. Photos by Veronica Mars. Words by Logan Echolls." He swallowed, because the collaboration had been a part of their lives that Veronica had clearly not remembered when she had left. He flipped to the inside cover and saw the caption he had given to the cover photo. There was a line that mentioned the Causeway Bay photo contest and the prize that picture had won. He flipped to the first page and saw the dedication.

_iLogan, come home./i_

He closed his eyes and felt his tears threaten. Logan placed the book back on the display and walked quickly to the exit. He hailed a cab and gave the driver the address.

He wished he had purchased the book, but there was no need. He remembered those photos. Working on them Then he dialed a number.

"How are you? It's understandable. If you need my help, just tell me. Li Shia, thank you." He listened at Li Shia's denial, and smiled. "Duncan took care of everything after that night—our house, our possessions, everything that would have reminded her of me. You were there the entire time. How did Veronica get copies of our work while she was in the States? Just… thank you."

The ride seemed endless as Logan tried to calm his heart. When the cab stopped, Logan got out and looked up at the old bliss apartment complex that Duncan had labeled as squalor but Logan had deemed his kingdom.

Logan made his way to the place they had called theirs. The moment the door opened, Logan felt it. The living room was empty save for the basic furniture. Duncan had done a fine job in clearing it out of any semblance of life. But Logan knew then. It was something thick and intangible that whispered to him to walk towards the bedroom.

She stood by the window where he had once taken her in anger and grief. Logan stopped stock still at the doorway and caught his breath. Veronica turned around and saw Logan for the first time since she had left him at the airport. She smiled.

Logan wiped the tears from his face clumsily. "You remember this place?"

Veronica nodded. Sadly she touched the window.

He saw the movement and choked, "I'm sorry."

"I missed you," she said softly. "And I remember this place. This was our home, Logan."

"Then why are you here?" he asked in wonder. "Why come to a place you know if filled with pain? I came home one day to find you bleeding in the bathroom. I accused you in this very room. On that bed, I told you I never wanted to see you again," Logan enumerated, finally ashamed of being in front of her. It seemed so much easier the last time, because she remembered nothing of the mistakes he had done. Now, he felt as if he was on trial.

Veronica walked up to him, then took his hand. "You saved me in the bathroom. On this bed, we made our baby." She smiled, then squeezed his hand. "Out in our kitchen we made simple dinners. We were happy here. Don't let a handful of bad memories affect thousands of beautiful ones."

Logan raised her hand to his lips and peppered it with kisses. "I love you," he whispered. He closed his eyes and pressed kisses on her fingers, then her pulse point.

She looped her free arm around his neck and met his lips with hers in a bittersweet kiss that seemed to voicelessly cover all that passed between them for the past few years. "I love you too," she responded, finally closing the declaration he had begun out in the streets of Happy Valley, when she could not reciprocate because of Duncan. "Where's my ring?"

Logan rested his forehead against hers as he unclasped the necklace around his neck. He slid the gold band from the chain and then kissed her finger, then placed the ring on.

"Marry me?" he said in a harsh, nervous whisper.

She shook her head, and Logan's heart broke. Veronica pushed away and picked up her bag, then took out a book. She handed it to him.

"I've seen this. Why do you think I'm here?"

"You obviously didn't read through it." She opened to the back cover and showed it to him. On it, Logan read the very words he uttered. Veronica smiled and read, "Come home and marry me."

"Of course," he answered, as if there was any question about it.

Veronica nodded. "Logan, I have to confess something. It can change your answer, but I'm ready for it."

"Nothing can change it, Ronnie. You and me forever. Remember that."

She swallowed, then pulled him with her towards the bed. They sat down at the edge. "Logan, I don't remember everything. I've tried. For more than a year, you know I've tried. I've seen therapists so that I can try to remember. Logan, I wanted to be complete for you, because you deserve someone who's not as full of holes and scars as I am." He would have spoken, but she hushed him with a finger to his lips. "I wanted to wait until I can remember everything, but I was so afraid I wouldn't have anyone to come back to if I took longer. I'm so afraid I'm never going to remember."

He cupped her face and placed a kiss on her lips. "You were never incomplete. And I promise I'll help you remember."

For the first time, she seemed nervous. A tear slipped down her cheek. "What happens if I never do? I know how much you treasure the past, Logan. What if I can't ever remember everything I lost?"

"Then we'll make new memories," he told her sadly. "And I won't force you, but I won't stop you either. There's only one memory that I need to help you remember."

She looked at him askance.

"Our baby," he said softly, tenderly. "And then we'll move on."

So many dreams about a child inside her, and this was the first time anyone had directly referred to him. Veronica placed a kiss in his palm as a gesture of thanks.

That night, mother and father would visit their son's grave for the first time together. It was the same time when Veronica would discover the new marker that had replaced the one that she had touched once, faintly, as Li Shia had run her hand over it. It said Jay Echolls, and later she would ask him why Logan had picked the name. Under the name, it said simply, Our Beloved Angel.

The week later, Logan had refurnished the apartment complex. Despite Veronica's objection that the place was fine as it was, Logan hired engineers and architects who would turn the place to one Logan knew was worthy of his wife.

The next month, they were married on the plaza in Tsim Sha Tsui, right at the spot where he had seen her balancing herself on the railing to take a picture of the skyline.

On the next year, Logan celebrated with Veronica when a new member of their family joined them. Sometimes when Logan thought of Jay, he spent sleepless night leaning over his new son's crib to watch the baby's chest rise and fall with his breathing. On those nights, Veronica would get up and sit beside him. She never urged him to go back to bed. She understood his fear and need to protect. Instead she brought them a thick blanket so they can sit in the darkness, right beside the crib, next to each other.

The rest of their lives they spent reliving memories and creating new ones.

Hong Kong was a world away, centered yet isolated, exotic yet commercial. Books and films were released to showcase the place. Veronica and Logan's book hung farther and farther back on the shelves, and were covered by newer books on the coffee table. Many people spoke of Hong Kong in so many words.

In the end, to the two people whose worlds began, ended and began again in that small island state, Hong Kong is for lovers.

_iFor thy sweet love remembered, such wealth brings that then I scorn to change my state with kings./i_

fin


End file.
